I've got 2.

1. Two condoms are walking down the street. They stop in front of a gay bar. One turns to the other and says, "Let's go inside and get sh*t-faced"!

2. Why did the condom fly across the room?
He was pissed off!

"How are banking & sex alike?".............when you make a withdrawal you lose interest

I really enjoyed the dog/ball jokes on the other post recently. This is a great board the sometimes lacks a sense of humor.

A dislexic man walks into a bra.....

What did Kermit the Frog say after Jim Henson died?


nothing

What's a Grecian urn? About 10 drachmas a day! Ta-dum! Everyone a Mazzarati!

Dumb Blonde yells over at another Dumb Blonde across the river:

"How did you get to the other side of the river?"

Dumb Blonde responds:

"You ARE on the other side of the river."

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

Another great topic Elmo. I agree with you suggestion about some people being to serious on the board. They need to remember this; Don't take your self too seriously. Nobody else does.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2005-11-03 21:16 by rocksaurus.

there are only two things i can't eat for breakfast:
lunch and dinner


"What do you want - what?!"
- Keith

and a well-worn one: Q: What do ya call a musician without a girlfriend?........A: Homeless

A couple of one-liners, corrected politically:

Did you hear about the Blonde Abortion clinic? It has a one-year waiting list.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "I wonder if it's mine?"

Did you hear about the man who couldn't spell? He spent the night in a warehouse.

What's the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss.

What did Leonard do with his first 50-cent piece? He married her.

Karl

snare hit for ya Karl....

Hey thanks very much folks, I'll be here all week...

Karl

i tell ya i just can't get no respect.....i fell asleep last night in bed with a cigarette in my mouth......and my wife lit it......i can't get no respect....my wife likes to talk on the phone while having sex....in fact, she called me the other night from a hotel room..........now adjusting my tie to the sound of a snare-hit as the crowd flees the club.........



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2005-11-03 22:01 by Leonard Keringer.

and a corny one: "What did the duck say to the doctor?"..........Quack

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "why the long face?"

How do you get a witch pregnant?

F%$k her!

Why couldn't the warlock satisfy the witch?
He had a Halloweenie

Why did little Johnny's Mother knit him a third sock?

He had told her his middle leg had grown a foot.

(I'm scapin the bottom of the barrel now)

Karl

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?

Dam!

Sorry folks

The best short joke?
The fan club DVD...

what did the hippi say to the fan? you're cool,man , cool
how many stones fans on this site does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

three. 1 to screw in the lightbulb and two to bitch about why mick taylor isn't doing it!

One wall says to the other wall: "I'll meet you at the corner!"

2 midgets walk into a bar
oh i thought u meant short-literally! sorry.

One blonde says to another blonde, "I'm trying to figure out which is closer, the moon or Florida." Second blonde replies, "DUH...can you SEE Florida??"

What's a redneck call a family reunion? A chance to pick up chicks!

Liked your light bulb joke Flash!

A midget walks into a bar, bartender says "How are things going? Midget says, "looking up!"

Ba dum pum!

A guy gets a call from his doctor following up on his appointment from the previous day...THe doctor days "I got bad news and I got worse news",

The guy says "oh god what's the bad news?"

Doctor says, "well, you got 24 hours to live"

The guy says "Oh God, what could be worse than that?

Doctor says, "I forgot to call you yesterday!"

two guys walk down the street.
One doesn't have any money -
the other one is a musican too.

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

He was tired of Haulin' Oats