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Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Doxa ()
Date: February 6, 2014 21:53

Quote
Max'sKansasCity


What about unwritten rules we dont know about, like the dont talk to strangers thing in certain countires... how do people meet other people if that is really a rule?

Hah, here is one coming from that culture... I wasn't to say anything, because I am not suppose to talk to strangers, but since I was asked....grinning smiley

And I can assure that it is not a myth - okay, kids today are so globalized and everything, and they might disagree, but I, born in the year when the crossfire hurricane hit the world, do recognize that behaviour in us Finns...

I guess it has something to do with shyness, being afraid of bothering other people, the ideal to maintain a low profile and not make a big mess of oneself, having low self-esteem or little ego, I don't know... A sum of all those I guess, but it's there...

How to get to know other people and have a social life? For that, and overcome the afraidness to talk to strangers, there is one and simple medicine: booze. And when we Finns get enough of that (= for the rest: too much), there is no way to stop us talking to strangers, do they want that or not... So it is no wonder we are rather hard drinkers here in Finland.... >grinning smiley<

Of course, that's not the whole truth, but among Finns there is not much - or at all - what one would call "small talk", so the way people communicate goes pretty much interpeting little signs, reading the circumstances, knowing when is appropriate to say something and when not. One Finn recognize the behavior of other Finn. And just by one right one word or look in right circumstances one can have a life-time friend or partner (or to have casual sex or whatever...). But still, alcohol helps...

But the point of not talking to strangers is not that of rudeness (even though it might look like that), but actually the opposite (respecting the privacy of the others). Odd cultural norms I know...

I could tell lots of jokes and odd stories of this behaviour of ours, but I guess I talked too much already... I hope this will do. Cheers!drinking smiley

- Doxa



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2014-02-06 21:54 by Doxa.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: jamesfdouglas ()
Date: February 6, 2014 21:57

For Canadians abroad... don't go out in public without proof that you're Canadian. Being mistaken for American is NOT fun.

[thepowergoats.com]

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: treaclefingers ()
Date: February 6, 2014 22:00

Tipping is kind of like 'commission' for the server staff. An incentive to do a very good job.

If they can't do a good job without the incentive, then they certainly don't deserve the commission.

It's particularly important where the server staff are paid a lowly wage, they rely on that 'commission' for their income.

I see no problem with the 'system' as it is as I think it generally works.

You see busy restaurants where the server staff are seriously pulling in some coin. I remember doing it 30 years ago and pulling in $100/night on average. Not bad tips for 30 years ago!

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Max'sKansasCity ()
Date: February 6, 2014 22:07

Quote
Doxa
Quote
Max'sKansasCity


What about unwritten rules we dont know about, like the dont talk to strangers thing in certain countires... how do people meet other people if that is really a rule?

Hah, here is one coming from that culture... I wasn't to say anything, because I am not suppose to talk to strangers, but since I was asked....grinning smiley

And I can assure that it is not a myth - okay, kids today are so globalized and everything, and they might disagree, but I, born in the year when the crossfire hurricane hit the world, do recognize that behaviour in us Finns...

I guess it has something to do with shyness, being afraid of bothering other people, the ideal to maintain a low profile and not make a big mess of oneself, having low self-esteem or little ego, I don't know... A sum of all those I guess, but it's there...

How to get to know other people and have a social life? For that, and overcome the afraidness to talk to strangers, there is one and simple medicine: booze. And when we Finns get enough of that (= for the rest: too much), there is no way to stop us talking to strangers, do they want that or not... So it is no wonder we are rather hard drinkers here in Finland.... >grinning smiley<

Of course, that's not the whole truth, but among Finns there is not much - or at all - what one would call "small talk", so the way people communicate goes pretty much interpeting little signs, reading the circumstances, knowing when is appropriate to say something and when not. One Finn recognize the behavior of other Finn. And just by one right one word or look in right circumstances one can have a life-time friend or partner (or to have casual sex or whatever...). But still, alcohol helps...

But the point of not talking to strangers is not that of rudeness (even though it might look like that), but actually the opposite (respecting the privacy of the others). Odd cultural norms I know...

I could tell lots of jokes and odd stories of this behaviour of ours, but I guess I talked too much already... I hope this will do. Cheers!drinking smiley

- Doxa

thumbs up

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Rockman ()
Date: February 6, 2014 23:00

Wait until the red light to put your lipstick and earrings on...oops, that's me


Similair down here ... Aussie chicks always obey the road-signs .....





ROCKMAN

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: mr_dja ()
Date: February 6, 2014 23:54

Quote
Elmo Lewis
In the rural American South:

1. Always ask "How's your mama and them"?

2. When someone dies, everyone in the community takes food to the family.

3. On a similar note, cars pull over for a funeral procession.

4. Never ask anyone what they paid for a car or truck.

5. College football is king. Season tickets are often fought over in divorce cases.

6. Courtesy is important - thank you, please, sir, maam, etc.

7. A blessing is always said before meals.

VERY accurate (I'm a resident).

An additional point to #5: Fall weddings are NEVER scheduled on a home date.

Regarding #3: Doesn't that happen in other places in addition to the American South? I remember that practice in the northeast as a kid.

Peace,
Mr DJA

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: swiss ()
Date: February 7, 2014 00:14

Quote
BluzDude
Quote
gimmelittledrink
In DC, it is customary to show up for a party at least one hour late and to immediately tell the host, "I have to leave soon for another party."

in DC....and Hollywood!

And San Francisco and NY

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Aquamarine ()
Date: February 7, 2014 00:32

Quote
Green Lady
Quote
DandelionPowderman
Quote
vox12string
Down Under, if you're wearing sandals, you do NOT wear socks as well

Can you do that somewhere at all?

Trademark of the uncool Englishman abroad - but no, you'll get arrested by the fashion police everywhere for this. Maybe older ladies might get away with it?

I always thought this was true, until last spring/summer, when I noticed that all the football players at my uni, and other similarly large young men, were wearing Nike sandals (the kind you just slide on) with socks. Has there been a seismic shift while we weren't looking, sock-wise? I kept meaning to ask one of them about it.

Oh, and regarding #5 on Elmo's list ("College football is king" ) --in some parts of the South, like here, it's the prince. High school football is king--everything stops for the Friday night games, all restaurants and movie theaters are deserted, etc.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2014-02-07 00:38 by Aquamarine.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: mr_dja ()
Date: February 7, 2014 00:38

Quote
Aquamarine
Quote
Green Lady
Quote
DandelionPowderman
Quote
vox12string
Down Under, if you're wearing sandals, you do NOT wear socks as well

Can you do that somewhere at all?

Trademark of the uncool Englishman abroad - but no, you'll get arrested by the fashion police everywhere for this. Maybe older ladies might get away with it?

I always thought this was true, until last spring/summer, when I noticed that all the football players at my uni, and other similarly large young men, were wearing Nike sandals (the kind you just slide on) with socks. Has there been a seismic shift while we weren't looking, sock-wise? I kept meaning to ask one of them about it.

Now that you meantion it, I've noticed that at my childresn's high school as well. Normally after practices as opposed to games. I think I put that down to, they've taken off their custom shoes (cleats/spikes even basketball or trainers) and just slipped on sandals to leave the locker room without actually changing completely out of their practice/workout clothes (and socks).

Peace,
Mr DJA

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Aquamarine ()
Date: February 7, 2014 00:41

Quote
mr_dja
Quote
Aquamarine
Quote
Green Lady
Quote
DandelionPowderman
Quote
vox12string
Down Under, if you're wearing sandals, you do NOT wear socks as well

Can you do that somewhere at all?

Trademark of the uncool Englishman abroad - but no, you'll get arrested by the fashion police everywhere for this. Maybe older ladies might get away with it?

I always thought this was true, until last spring/summer, when I noticed that all the football players at my uni, and other similarly large young men, were wearing Nike sandals (the kind you just slide on) with socks. Has there been a seismic shift while we weren't looking, sock-wise? I kept meaning to ask one of them about it.

Now that you meantion it, I've noticed that at my childresn's high school as well. Normally after practices as opposed to games. I think I put that down to, they've taken off their custom shoes (cleats/spikes even basketball or trainers) and just slipped on sandals to leave the locker room without actually changing completely out of their practice/workout clothes (and socks).

Peace,
Mr DJA

That would make sense, except that these guys seem to wear them like that all day. I think I'll send them a general Facebook query, just out of curiosity!

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: mr_dja ()
Date: February 7, 2014 00:42

Oops. Trigger happy "clicking finger". Didn't mean to post.

Peace,
Mr DJA



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014-02-07 00:43 by mr_dja.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: MingSubu ()
Date: February 7, 2014 00:54

Key is to wear cool socks with sandals.

I have an assortment of colored wool socks that go great with my Birkenstocks.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: swiss ()
Date: February 7, 2014 01:07

- In America, if you must stand still on an escalator for the train or subway, for god's sake stand to the right, and make room for people to pass quickly on the left.

Speaking of DC, where I lived for 12 years, this was the single most irritating thing about 24/7 tourists, slopping all over the block-long escalator and bogging down liteerally hundreds of people.

In Austria where I lived for most of a year, it was expected to make eye contact and say Gruss Gott to a shop owner, rather than walk in and start rummaging through the clothes racks (or whatever). Not sure if that is still the case.

In the Bay Area (where I live now) people often thank --and say "goodbye" to-- the busdrivers -- ertinly not done in NY where I am from, and I never took the bus in DC, so I don't know, but would presume only "neighborhood" bus riders and drivers would talk to each other -- otherwise, riders see the bus as transport and the driver sees riders as entities that get on and off their bus.

In the Bay Area everyone talks to strangers -- even on bus, train, and subway -- and often share alarmingly personal things, but then instantly forget each other. In NYC it's a no-no. In DC people talk to strangers if they've already "vetted" each other and have a sense of what they're about--how they "fit."

People from the Bay Area California will not directly say No---I find it annoying and namby-pamby (being from NY). In NY people not only don't perceive a direct "no" to be rude, but it's expected -- and "Are you @#$%& out of your mind!" wouldn't be considered rude but seen almost as an endearment (and would be chuckled over) among people who know one another.

If you're waiting on line for something, you'd better have your money or ticket ready to go in the States. People who get to the front of the line and then fumble around for their money are dispaying very poor form.

From my experience, white people in the States seem to form orderlt tight litte lines, while in black neighborhoods I've lived in "lines" are more of a concept, relating to who go their first, rather than --necessarily-- precisely where someone is standing. I learned this in my mid-20s. I was late for something and dashed into a corner store. A guy was at the counter talking to the employee who worked there, and a bunch of other people were sort of loosely arrayed around the part of the store with the cash register. I grabbed my juice, sussed out the line, and concluded the people standing around were "hanging out" in that store for some reason, so when the guy finished paying, I hopped up to the register. A riot nearly ensued. In the course of 2 seconds, I was literaly yelled at, called names, who did I think I was? Indicating there were like 8 people in line, pointing to the meandering group. And I burst into tears -- good "progressive" that I am, that my brothers and sisters in struggle would think I was some kind of priveleged line-cutting @#$%&. I started to leave and an old black woman said to the group "Listen now, she didn't know. Miss, you can get line in front of me," which was enormously gracious and I took her up on it so I could get the hell out of there, but I never forgot that lesson. And it has come in handy in many other places I've lived. And also alerted me to the broader issue that different culturees regards "lines" differently and to drink it in first, before making assumptions.

- swiss

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: sweetcharmedlife ()
Date: February 7, 2014 01:34

Quote
BluzDude
Never bet on the NO PASS line when it's your turn to roll the dice grinning smiley
Always bet on red and never hit a soft 17.spinning smiley sticking its tongue out

"It's just some friends of mine and they're busting down the door"

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: BluzDude ()
Date: February 7, 2014 01:49

...and remember, when visiting Austria, when at a restaurant, when they put a basket of rolls on your table, they will charge you for each roll you take.
...and when ordering dessert (and they have lots of great desserts), do not ask the waiter what he recommends or what their specialty is because they will bring you something that is twice as expensive as everything else, and doesn't even taste good.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: latebloomer ()
Date: February 7, 2014 02:31

Quote
mr_dja
Quote
Aquamarine
Quote
Green Lady
Quote
DandelionPowderman
Quote
vox12string
Down Under, if you're wearing sandals, you do NOT wear socks as well

Can you do that somewhere at all?

Trademark of the uncool Englishman abroad - but no, you'll get arrested by the fashion police everywhere for this. Maybe older ladies might get away with it?

I always thought this was true, until last spring/summer, when I noticed that all the football players at my uni, and other similarly large young men, were wearing Nike sandals (the kind you just slide on) with socks. Has there been a seismic shift while we weren't looking, sock-wise? I kept meaning to ask one of them about it.

Now that you meantion it, I've noticed that at my childresn's high school as well. Normally after practices as opposed to games. I think I put that down to, they've taken off their custom shoes (cleats/spikes even basketball or trainers) and just slipped on sandals to leave the locker room without actually changing completely out of their practice/workout clothes (and socks).

Peace,
Mr DJA

True. My son does the same thing on the way to and from football practice. I guess the smelly socks are preferable to the smelly feet sans socks. But you're right Aqua, he often wears them that way for a while afterwards.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: noughties ()
Date: February 7, 2014 02:32

Quote
Doxa
Quote
Max'sKansasCity


What about unwritten rules we dont know about, like the dont talk to strangers thing in certain countires... how do people meet other people if that is really a rule?

How to get to know other people and have a social life? For that, and overcome the afraidness to talk to strangers, there is one and simple medicine: booze.
- Doxa

Well, this is just like the Tr√łndelag counties (2 counties, north and south) in middle Norway. Booze is a socially accepted channel. Out on the town you`re allowed to lurch from table to table behaving like a complete idiot.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Deathgod ()
Date: February 7, 2014 02:43

In Australia a fanny is not the same as the US....we are after all down under

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: latebloomer ()
Date: February 7, 2014 02:49

Speaking of DC, where I lived for 12 years, this was the single most irritating thing about 24/7 tourists, slopping all over the block-long escalator and bogging down liteerally hundreds of people.

Very true...nothing screams tourist more loudly in the District than hogging the escalator by standing in the middle or to the left. You have to stay to the right if you aren't in a hurry. The left side is for the manics trying to catch the next train to work.

DC is second only to NYC in the number of people who opt for public transit instead of driving. If you've driven into and out of DC during rush hour, you know why.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: latebloomer ()
Date: February 7, 2014 02:54

One of my favorite funny things about Italy was all the waiters asking American tourists if they wanted their water "gas or no gas?" Well, er...no gas, of course. smiling smiley

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: BluzDude ()
Date: February 7, 2014 07:23

Quote
latebloomer
One of my favorite funny things about Italy was all the waiters asking American tourists if they wanted their water "gas or no gas?" Well, er...no gas, of course. smiling smiley
...fill her up with Ethel....

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: The Sicilian ()
Date: February 7, 2014 07:30

Quote
vox12string
Down Under, if you're wearing sandals, you do NOT wear socks as well

Unless you have severely cracked heels.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: The Sicilian ()
Date: February 7, 2014 07:31

Quote
jamesfdouglas
For Canadians abroad... don't go out in public without proof that you're Canadian. Being mistaken for American is NOT fun.

But being protected by them is.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: treaclefingers ()
Date: February 7, 2014 16:14

Quote
The Sicilian
Quote
jamesfdouglas
For Canadians abroad... don't go out in public without proof that you're Canadian. Being mistaken for American is NOT fun.

But being protected by them is.

oh, I thought I was wearing a condom, that was you?

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: StonedInTokyo ()
Date: February 7, 2014 16:46

Quote
The Sicilian
Quote
jamesfdouglas
For Canadians abroad... don't go out in public without proof that you're Canadian. Being mistaken for American is NOT fun.

But being protected by them is.

This reminds me of these unwritten rules...when entering CANADA you can expect immigration and customs control to consist of being politely asked "Have you anything to declare?" When entering the US you can expect a bio-metric scan, oftentimes followed by some form of mindless interrogation and a security check of all your belongings. Non-US citizens probably expect to have it even worse.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Date: February 7, 2014 17:00

Quote
latebloomer
One of my favorite funny things about Italy was all the waiters asking American tourists if they wanted their water "gas or no gas?" Well, er...no gas, of course. smiling smiley

grinning smiley

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: runaway ()
Date: February 7, 2014 17:15

Amsterdam cycling, have fun




Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: Title5Take1 ()
Date: February 7, 2014 17:44

Jerry said that when she was pregnant with Elizabeth, she went to some Lamaze-type classes that husbands were expected to attend. Mick said he wouldn't go because, "I'm too English."

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: kleermaker ()
Date: February 7, 2014 18:00

Quote
DandelionPowderman
Quote
latebloomer
One of my favorite funny things about Italy was all the waiters asking American tourists if they wanted their water "gas or no gas?" Well, er...no gas, of course. smiling smiley

grinning smiley

They all know JJFlash and think it's a gas gas gas.

Re: OT- Unwritten rules of your country
Posted by: kleermaker ()
Date: February 7, 2014 18:01

Quote
Title5Take1
Jerry said that when she was pregnant with Elizabeth, she went to some Lamaze-type classes that husbands were expected to attend. Mick said he wouldn't go because, "I'm too English."

Great pretext and besides he's right. It's a typical American white thing I guess.

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