OUCH! Nice one, Sir Craven!

The Humpback of Notre Dame

The Chip fought the Fish - but the Fish won....ok a little battered.

Quote
Hairball
Led Zeppelin - Down By The Seaside...

as well as Moby Dick.

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2015-03-28 17:52 by camper88.

Fish In The River Kwai!!!!

Has this thread developed finn rot?

You probably need to be British to get this one, but never mind...

An shark is swimming along the seabed when he bumps into a squid - poor thing, it's limping along looking very seedy and unhappy.

"Come along with me" says the shark - "I'll look after you."

So they travel along together for a league or two until they come to a huge cave in the reef. The shark goes up to the cave and shouts "Hey, are you in there?"

The biggest ugliest octopus you ever saw comes out of the cave, and the shark says: "I'm glad you're at home. I've brought you that sick squid I owe you..."

Oh cod! That's just a load of pollocks

Walter Trout!!!

I just thought I would 'keep net'ing a few more fish puns until it 'FIN'ally fades out.

The world needs a good chip shop thread.

There are plenty of Good chip shops up North Craven Cottage.

Has Jimmy Bullard recovered from his battering at Blackburn?

I think we put you in your place!

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?

Show me your mussels.

Kilgore Trout

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted

After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun."I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She turned to the other Brother and says "then you must be...?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk"

A Bigger Bass

chip shop chip shop chip shop.

A few genuine chip shop names, courtesy of Google;

A Fish Called Rhondda (Rhondda Valley, South Wales)
Chipsy King (Amsterdam)
The Star Chip Enterprise (Weston-super-Mare)
Battersea Cod's Home
A Salt'N'Battered
The Frying Scotsman
The Frying Machine (Yorkshire)
Northern Sole (Sheffield)

I've said it once, and I'll say it again!:
Too Much Salt _n_ Vinegar _On My Dead Cod_.mp3 - 7.20MB


"As we say in England, it can get a bit trainspottery"

This morning I popped into my local petstore. I told the assistant that I would like to buy a goldfish. She asked if I wanted an acqaurium. I told her I just wanted a goldfish and wasn't concerned about its star sign.

Mind that snapper

More about Keith's fishing expedition at Martha's Vineyard (reported earlier in this thread) in this long interview with Buddy Vanderhoop of Tomahawk Charters:

[www.mvmagazine.com]

I’ve heard some stories about you and Keith Richards. Care to share?

I’ve known Keith for thirty years: We used to party at the Outermost Inn back in the late seventies. About five years ago, Keith came back to the Island, and I was up at my mom’s restaurant, the Aquinnah Shop, and Keith was walking down from the overlook with a bunch of his friends from London, and he says, “Buddy! Buddy Vanderhoop! What are you doing? I’m here for the whole summer. Let’s go fishing.” So Keith shows up at my boat at 7 a.m., and he’s got a ten-ounce cup in his hand. I say, “What’s in the cup, Keith?” He says [attempting a British accent], “Oh, vodka and grapefruit. Grapefruit’s a morning drink, you know.”

So we went out, we started catching lots of fish, and after every fish he caught, he’d have a cocktail. By the time we got back to the dock at noontime, he was plastered. I have pictures of him laying down on the dock with the fish, with a big shit-eatin’ grin on his face with his cocktail. [Laughing.]

After I filleted their fish, he said, “Buddy, this afternoon, I’m going to freak you out.” I said, “I don’t think so, I’m going to be out fishing.” And he said, “You’ll see.”

I didn’t think anything about it. I got my clients on the boat, we left, and we started catching fish. I was fishing right at the end of Zack’s Cliffs [in Aquinnah], and all of a sudden, around the bend of Squibnocket Point, comes this – I think it was an early 1940s vintage B-17 bomber. My clients were still in the back fishing, and all of a sudden the plane goes into a dive and came within probably one hundred feet of my antenna, and then the pilot crammed all the power of the four engines, and it made such a roar when it buzzed that my clients all hit the deck. Keith Richards was in the front glass gun turret, laughing his ass off, and his son Marlon was in the gun turret on the top, and his friends from London were in the gun turret in the back, and they were just cracking up. They buzzed me four times. It was – pretty unique. It had never happened to me before.

Or since, probably.

Right. When he’s here I go over to his house for dinner three or four times. Very dedicated family man, does a lot of things with his kids. He wanted to go fishing with me last year, but it was the end of their tour, and Mick [Jagger] said, “No, we have to practice.” I said, “Practice? You been playing that same stuff for forty years!”

Is it true there’s some interest in your doing a television show together?

Keith wants to do a fishing show with me off the Great Barrier Reef. He wants to catch great white sharks – he just wants to catch and release. So it’s in the works with Trevor Gowdy.

Practice at the end of the tour?!!

Love that story, though! Thanks for posting, Green Lady.

Ah, this is the sole plaice to be

Look what I caught with my fishnet!

what kind of bait did you use?