Quote
The Worst.Quote
belld
Review in UK newspaper Independent On Sunday - 5 Stars and very positive.
Link?
The only one I can find is of last week's show - but this is amusing...
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www.independent.co.uk]
If the Rolling Stones don’t make a fascist of me, then Andy Murray surely willHoward Jacobson
I have a question to ask, but first I have a confession to make. On three separate occasions last week I made a fist and punched the air. So my question is: does this, by my own lights as someone who despises mass feeling, make me a fascist. In extenuation, allow me to say that I didn’t punch the air as an act of ecstatic connection with my fellow men. I did it at home, once with friends, twice solitarily. And while what you do solitarily has its dangers, it can’t, I think, constitute a Nuremberg Rally. On the other hand, I did briefly sway in unison with others last weekend, did share in communal excitement, did feel what a crowd felt at the moment of its feeling it – so what does that make me?
This latter breach of my own strict code of individuality occurred at the Rolling Stones concert in Hyde Park. I don’t often go to rock concerts but make an exception for the Rolling Stones. I have liked their mocking bluesiness since first hearing it half a century ago. The joke of being rockers in their seventies only compounds the joke that was always intrinsic to Jagger’s performance. Go to New Mexico and you will find countless depictions, from ancient petroglyph to contemporary souvenir, of the trickster god Kokopelli, a humpbacked, flute-playing, body-twisting, mischief-making, sex-laden fertility figure – like all tricksters, simultaneously dangerous and absurd.
To my eye, Mick Jagger is the urban equivalent. Kokopelli’s humpback is said to contain seed and unborn babies, but Jagger – I’m speaking figuratively now – is the seed itself. Watching his sinuous, worming strut last week, I was reminded of Woody Allen’s faint-hearted sperm in Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). But where Woody Allen played it only for laughs, a shmuck-sperm never going to make it through as one of millions of pumped-up paratrooper spermatozoan, Jagger has it both ways – the über-sperm going boldly where others do not dare, and the comedian-critic, instigating and deriding the whole procreative frenzy. Woody Allen’s ineffective reproductive cell is dressed in a sort of fluffy white babygrow; Jagger snakes into the crowd in black from head to toe – a pastiche of potency, Max Wall and Mephistopheles, the seed of Satan.
I don’t, of course, clap my hands when Mick tells me to. And I would rather have my fingernails pulled out one by one than join him in ooh ooh ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, if that’s how you spell it. Never join, is my motto. Never clap along, never sing along, never do what you are asked to do. This is partly a matter of personal pride: I am not another person’s unpaid backing group. But it is also a political statement. Whoever consents to being manipulated in one area of life will consent in another; whoever submits to the will of the majority in matters of trivia will submit to it in matters of moment. Today it’s ooh ooh ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh; tomorrow it’s Sieg Heil!
Few of my friends concur with me in this. “Bullshit!” is how my wife views it. Indeed, I had to promise her, before she would agree to our going to hear the Stones together, that I would at no point in the concert invoke @#$%& or Il Duce. A tough promise to keep when tens of thousands are swaying with raised arms to the same rhythm and hooting like one giant owl in jackboots. But even I could not resist the universal enchantment of “Honky Tonk Women”. “Gimme, gimme,” I sang in a voice too low to be detected by those surveillance agencies that are plugged into me day and night, “gimme the honky tonk blues.”
(and then he goes on to talk about Andy Murray...)