From THE REPUBLICAN

Concert dorks can ruin a show
Thursday, February 26, 2009
By KEVIN O'HARE
Music writer

The guy to my left has his cell phone ringing and the couple to my right has taken about 200 pictures of the two of them with the stage in the background. The woman in back of me has been texting her friends through the whole show and that pie-eyed person in front of me just puked.

Welcome to the wild, wonderful world of concert-going, 2009.

You might say that crazy things have always gone on at concerts and you'd probably be right. There were always people at shows who were there to get lucky, get high or do anything other than listen to the music.

But it's worse now. Believe me. I've been to nearly 2,000 concerts during the past three decades and it's never been this bad.

The biggest problem is that more people than ever seem to be at concerts to make the scene more than actually hear the music. For many, making sure that every one of your friends knows you are at the Beyonce concert is far more important than hearing anything Beyonce sings. Getting the Carrie Underwood T-shirt and wearing it to school the next day is a lot more of a status symbol than knowing whether the star was on-key or off. Showing your buddies the $500 ticket for the Rolling Stones concert is way more critical than being sober enough to remember anything Mick Jagger sang after the third song of the night.

Being able to say you saw this band or that singer was always good for the ego. Admit it. But there was a time, in a land far, far away, where the concert experience meant something incredibly special, the real-time, soul to soul connection between artists and fans. A time when fans could recite the set list of a Bruce Springsteen, Stevie Wonder or U2 show they attended 10 or 20 years ago, or at least recall the high points of the performance.

Things have been slowly shifting for several years, but it finally hit home for me at a John Legend concert at Smith College a few years back.

While Legend was delivering a supremely soulful set, I looked around at all the lights flashing from the cell phones in the crowd. And I started counting. And I realized that hundreds of people in that audience weren't listening to anything the incredibly talented singer was delivering on stage. Instead, they were either taking third-rate photos with their cell phone camera (typically of themselves with the stage in the background) or texting their friends ("Guess where I am! OMG!").

That experience eventually led to this list of "10 Commandments of Concert Etiquette." I asked about 30 friends of varying ages to tell me about some of their own best and worst experiences at shows and they gave me some great feedback. You might hate it, you might like it, but if you've gone to enough shows, I promise you will recognize some of the people in this column.
1. Though shalt not get drunk or high and stupid before the show

No one's against tailgating in the parking lot and no one's against people of legal age enjoying a couple of drinks at a show, as long as they don't get smashed and ruin the concert for everyone around them. I still vividly remember the guy in his 20s with the fabulous seat at the Rolling Stones' show in Fenway Park a few years ago. Totally wrecked when he walked into the venue, by the time the Stones hit the stage he was a slobbering idiot, falling off the extremely expensive eighth row seat he was standing on three times during the first three songs, tumbling onto other increasingly angry people in the crowd. Suddenly, Keith Richards seemed like a model of sobriety in comparison.

2. Though shalt not arrive late at a concert and rudely demand people to get out of your seat.

This happens at sporting events too, all the time in fact. What's worse than the two people who show up an hour after the time printed on the ticket, and the guy with a beer in each hand makes his way to where you're sitting, pushes past a few people and shouts "Hey you're in my seat!" First of all, more often than not, you're in the right seat and they've got it wrong. But couldn't they at least be polite about it? They're the ones who are late! How about, "Hi, we got stuck in traffic, but I think you may be sitting in my seat?" It's a lot better approach and a lot less confrontational.

3. Thou shalt not covet the souvenir tables more than the concert

This is a particular pet peeve. Look, everyone likes a cool T-shirt as either a fashion statement or a permanent memory of a great show. Artists these days make a fortune on their souvenir tables. But too many people walk into venues and, before a note is played, spend hun- dreds of dollars on souvenirs just so they can say they saw Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, Martina McBride, Kelly Clarkson or others. Actually seeing them is secondary compared with having the T-shirt that proves you were there. With ticket prices as high as they are these days, the T-shirts, programs, posters, etc. are often a luxury. And they're not more important than what happens on stage. Remember, it's still the music that matters, not what you wear the next day to school.

4. Thou Shalt Not Get Angry at Artists Who Fail to Play Note-by-Note Versions of their Greatest Hits in Concert

Look, more than likely, they are going to play plenty of songs you know. They'd be fools not to. But they've also got to do a few songs off their new album because that's what they are trying to promote. And they also may want to improvise on some of the hits just a bit, so as to keep the show exciting for them too.

Concert set lists frequently trigger a huge debate among ticket-holders, a debate that is worthy of a lot more space than we have here. You do deserve to hear some of the music that you would expect. But you are by no means guaranteed that you will hear every one of your favorite songs just because you bought a ticket. And if you are going to see someone like Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Alicia Keys or Bruce Springsteen, who hardly ever play the same set list twice, be ready for some surprises. It's part of the fun.

5. Thou Shalt Not Scream Out Requests.

Don't scream out for stars to play their biggest hit the moment they take the stage. That is especially true if you're in a in a small venue where everyone can hear you. Most performers work from a set list and will play their biggest hits. They don't need you to remind them the second they say "Good evening Northampton." You're being obnoxious and you're actually risking getting the artist so angry you may not end up hearing the song at all.

6. Thou Shalt Not Use Cell Phones to Text Your Friends During Concerts, to Talk on the Phone During Quiet Moments nor to Take Countless Goofy Pictures of You and Your Date with the Performers on stage in the Background.

This is the big one. It's all out of hand. At a Sugarland concert a while ago, I looked around and it seemed like the entire sold-out crowd was texting someone else, maybe someone in the crowd, more likely someone who was unable to get tickets. "We r at the show! So Cool! Miss U! Cya!"
Good grief. Could you listen to just a few of the songs for just a few minutes? What did they just sing? You forgot what they played? What a surprise.

As for the photos, a lot of people, including yours truly, love photos. Take a couple. Take 10 if you want if the performer is OK with that. But more than 100? Of you and your date AT the show? Give it a rest.

And while you are at it, put the cell phone on vibrate.

7. Thou Shalt Not Make Out with thy Date During the Concert

Bring it to a motel or bring it home. 'Nuff said.

8. Thou Shalt Not Stand and Dance at a Show When No One Else is Standing and Dancing.

This is one of the major great debates among concert goers. I seem to recall a fabulous "Saturday Night Live" skit on this subject years ago. Have you ever been in back of the only person standing at a show while everyone else was sitting? Have you ever asked them (politely please) to sit down? Have you ever gotten the response, "Hey buddy, I paid for this ticket I can do whatever I want."

Well you CAN'T do whatever you want when it means you are blocking the sight lines of other people who also paid to see the show. And if you are standing in front of a smaller person, a kid, or a disabled person, you deserve to be tossed out of the building. No one is saying don't have fun. Have a blast. Watch the movement of the crowd. If people all over the place are dancing, then it's fine to get up and shake your money maker all you want. And if they're not, but you feel you've GOT to dance, then try and sneak to a location where you will not be blocking anyone else's view.

9. Thou Shalt Not Walk Out of the Concert to make a Bathroom Run or a Food Run whenever the Band Plays Something New or Different.

Poor Walter Becker. The "other guy" in Steely Dan, equally brilliant but often in Donald Fagen's shadow, had the spotlight to sing one song each night during their tour a few years ago. No matter where they played, when Becker's time came, there was a mass exodus to the bathrooms. Give the guy a chance. Show some respect. When you gotta go, you gotta go, but don't be so obvious.

10. Thou Shalt Not Sing Louder Than the Person On Stage

You may have paid a lot of money for your tickets but that does not protect you from the yahoo in back of you who insists on singing-along (off key of course) to every song during the concert. Here's a reminder: Sometimes the emotional excitement does get overwhelming. But remember - people did not come to the show to hear YOU sing, and, just guessing mind you, but the odds are you are no Don Henley. They came to hear the star. If you must sing-along, do it quietly. And of course there are exceptions for when everyone in the stadium is singing like a European football match and Bono wants it that way.

2. Though shalt not arrive late at a concert and rudely demand people to get out of your seat.



I can't stand when folks will say "Oh the seats are basically the same, let's just stay where we are" Don't go for that b.s. It's just another form of one human getting over another. The seat numbers are on the ticket.

don't be so harsh on us dorks. we're people, too....

wow--i don't know how old this guy is but he never went to concerts in the 60's, 70's....a Concert is the place to have sex....smoke, drink, sing and dance....ha. It used to be a place to party with the band and 50,000 friends.
It used to be a big celebration a event, a party!
Well times have changed and we now have to sit still and listen!! ha....

I don't know this KEVIN O'HARE but I agree to what he writes in this story. Thanks for posting this pgarof

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Keep On Rolling

I don't recall anyone having sex at any concert attended in the 70s. Making out? Yes. Smoking, Drugs, Sing, and Dance? Yes. And if women take off their bras and wiggle their breasts that does not equate to sex. It's actually silly.

How about "Thou shalt not have a running conversation with your date/friend, as if you were the only two people in the world and no one else can hear you?"


People who provide endless commentary, or just yak about nothing because the show is a background for their first date are the worst. They have no respect for anyone...their fellow audience members and the artist be damned!

Last time I saw Bob Dylan a couple in front of me were yakking away. After a short while they left (probably because they didn't recognize any of the songs!)

20-odd years ago I saw Leonard Cohen at the Wiltern...and these people behind me kept talking about the show as it was going on! You would expect the Leonard Cohen crowd to have half a brain....

The clueless are everywhere.





By the way, I went to plenty of concerts in the '70's, and I never saw anyone "having sex." Nor would I want to.

Judas Priest LA Sports Arena 1990 - I was in the last seated section to the side (they block out the seats behind the stage due to production). Some dude took his date on section further and @#$%& her right in the last row.

Rolling Stones Rose Bowl 10/21/94
Some dude with a jacket on his lap and a head bobbing up and down under the jacket.

Most of that article is right on though.

I'm sorry for you....Did you ever camp out for tix or camp out to get great seats? Lots going on...ha...I don't think it was something that was done by everyone but the 60's & 70's also had a lot of 2 day music fest. Lots of fun.

But the bigger point i'm trying to make is that a lot has changed in the way we go and SEE concerts.....GO HOME AND play your Altamont movie or Woodstock Movie!

Having sex at a concert is pointless. Most groups tour infrequently so why waste time having sex during the concert? Also,the thought making love at a Judas Priest and even a Stones concert is flat out strange if not frightening. It seems more appropriate to take a date to say maybe a Rod Stewart or Beach Boys concert. But even then, I would only go to first or second base if you what I mean LOL.

now i never did that stuff....AND I WOULD NEVER DO IT DURING A STONES CONCERT.
I would never want to miss something...But at other concerts, Like the YES, back in 1975 in Philly, half the crowd was having sex..ha.... well not half..LOL

Totally agree with this post. For crying out loud, I was at The Sex Pistols gig in Lokerse last year and so many people were pushing and shoving trying to get closer to the front. After a lot of frustration I finally asked a few of them if they knew the name of the drummer, none of them did. So I asked why all the effort and lack of courtesy to get to the front. Some just smiled without an answer one at least said it was the last time he will see them, as they're so old they'll die soon. There I stood finally getting my first opportunity to see them since 1978 and I had to put up with a bunch of tourist.

Oh and yeah that's definately the case at Stones concerts. Sorry Italian friends, but you have to admit at least 90 percent of the audience in Italy is there for something to do.

Then there's the women that left the Roseland gig after 3 songs to come outside and dangle their tickets in front of our faces, ha-ha. About 10 of us hard core fans stayed to the end, outside.

I can go on forever about this subject but in the end there's nothing we can do about it. Wish somhow there was a way to make certain concerts just for fans.

If thou takest a food/drink/bathroom break, thou shalt remember where thou wert sitting and not wander around during songs clutching a pint and a hot dog asking everybody if this is Section A3 Row Q at the top of thy voice and shouting out thy friends' names in the hope that they are sitting somewhere within earshot .....

do you know once upon a time this is how @#$%& and the nazis came to power in germany and all of europe because somebody was standing during the berlin philharmonic concert .pure and utter garbage .if you dont like the expierence stay HOME.as the sage of wisdom BOB said a long time a go THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING!

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Chris Fountain
I don't recall anyone having sex at any concert attended in the 70s. Making out? Yes. Smoking, Drugs, Sing, and Dance? Yes. And if women take off their bras and wiggle their breasts that does not equate to sex. It's actually silly.

Stones. Munich 1982. not far away from the stage. a woman in a short skirt. her guy behind her, arms around her, moving to the music with her. the sound from the stage and the feel of her bottom must have inspired him.... the story even made a national german newspaper.

Maybe the German news article will find it's way to "Some Kinda Stones Connection"

"her guy behind her, arms around her, moving to the music with her." Sounds like an orgy.

Bring back standing in line (or spending the night out) for your tickets, so that real fans get the tickets. Bring back festival seating and herbal remedies at concerts. Unless it's a stadium or large arena, leave the big screens at home. No cell phones. No dorks. No puking.

"3. Thou shalt not covet the souvenir tables more than the concert"

Every rock manager on this planet will beg you to forget this one : at the current ACDC shows some t-shirts are sold 90€ (114$) that is roughly 50% more than the (already stiff) ticket price.

dcba

The Voodoo Lounge tour t-shirts are the coolest.

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Elmo Lewis
Bring back standing in line (or spending the night out) for your tickets, so that real fans get the tickets. Bring back festival seating and herbal remedies at concerts. Unless it's a stadium or large arena, leave the big screens at home. No cell phones. No dorks. No puking.

There was plenty of scalping in those days too as well as tickets that never made it to Ticketmaster or the box office. For me, standing in line got old the second I got a job.

That's why I refuse to get a job!

"The Voodoo Lounge tour t-shirts are the coolest"

I ahve the Halloween/Frisco'94 t-hsirt and I agree it's cool (so cool I never brought myself to actually wear it)

People who call their friends and then stand up and keep waving till they are spotted.

no standing when everyone else is sitting?!? drop dead pussy! this ain't your living room. without a doubt it's worse nowadays. thirty years ago NO ONE would have a list of rules about what isn't permitted. or whine about standing at a ROCK CONCERT. long live the stones!? no, long live the hall monitors.

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pgarof
From THE REPUBLICAN

Hey, hey, let's keep politics out of this!

The last time I saw Led Zeppelin in 1977 the girl sitting behind me puked all over my back. I'm just glad I was wearing a jacket at the time.

Pink Floyd show 1975 Roosevelt Stadium, New Jersey. Some guy kept yelling LEEEEEEEEEEED ZEPPELIN... what a buzz kill

Did anyone notice some of the "artists" referenced in the article? No wonder he has so many problems.
11. Keep the holier than thou music writers away from the real fans so they can enjoy the show with a minimum of harrumphs and sighs.
While I tend to agree with some of the article's "rules", he is off base often enough to make it useless as the guide he clearly hopes will be used. Of course, the attendees he is targeting will never get it and it just provides him and his ilk another opportunity to feel smug, which is almost as bad as the loudmouth drunk talking on his cell phone and worse than the same drunk falling backwards during "Brown Sugar" and wiping out a row of empty seats (funniest damn thing I ever saw at a Stones show - my wife and I thought it was a great capper to a great show).

I just came home after seeing the Sam Roberts band in a club show and some dork did enough to piss the band off enough, that they stopped playing and walked off the stage. Thankfully, security removed the dork and the crowd coaxed the band back. Even though the band scontinued smokin' the place, it just didn't seem to get the same vibe back..
The dork was escorted out to the crowd chanting arsehole, arsehole, arsehole..
One d$ck, is all it takes...
P.S. Sam Roberts is a Canadian artist & is at the beginning of what appears to be a US tour.

I found the article quite hilarious and true.
10. Thou Shalt Not Sing Louder Than the Person On Stage

My last Stones concert:
Four middle aged and absolutely drunk people were shouting and tried deseperately to sing;couldn't even hear Jagger singing...

"Rolling Stones Rose Bowl 10/21/94
Some dude with a jacket on his lap and a head bobbing up and down under the jacket."

No it was a taper who had brought in a giant microphone. He had to cover it wiy-th whatever he could not to get caught... ><