Here are 2 of my favorites:

A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks. The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop." The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!" The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!" The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?" Wild-eyed, the boy responds, " . . . BASS SOLO!!!"



Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to hold the bulb while the world revolves around him.

Guess everyonehas heard the old one about the piccolo player?

No, please tell us about the piccolo player.

He swallowed it ?

__________________________

one of my faves is the classic: Q: "Whatduya call a musician without a girlfriend?"...........A: Homeless

If I translate this one in Dutch Leonard I ..............while I type this I understand it. HaHa

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NICOS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If I translate this one in Dutch Leonard I
> ..............while I type this I understand it.
> HaHa


quite a bit of truth in that joke Mr.NICOS

Yeah your right I know I famous guitar player in Holland (don't want to go in detail) but if he didn't had a girlfriend Ahh you know the rest.......

__________________________

I did not write this one:

Why do Mick Jagger and Keith Richards request that salt water taffy in their dressing rooms?

To fill the holes in their souls



Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

He was tired of Hall & Oats (say it as Haulin Oats)

Q: What do Ginger Baker and coffee have in common?
A: Without cream, they both suck!

The preacher introduced a piccolo player to play at church. As he was playing, someone shouted "The piccolo player is a motherf&%$^*". The preacher rose and said, "Who called my piccoloplayer a motherf&*$%#"? From the back of the church someone said, "Who said that motherf*^#^% is a piccolo player"?

Not really that funny, but musical.

How do you know if a drummer's platform is level?

The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.

Eric Clapton, Keith Richards, and Eddie Van Halen walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and sees them and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Q: What's better than roses on your piano?
A: Tulips on your organ.

-



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2007-12-29 08:48 by cirrhosis.

No soap... radio
???

Steve Miller

Elmo Lewis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The preacher introduced a piccolo player to play
> at church. As he was playing, someone shouted "The
> piccolo player is a motherf&%$^*". The preacher
> rose and said, "Who called my piccoloplayer a
> motherf&*$%#"? From the back of the church someone
> said, "Who said that motherf*^#^% is a piccolo
> player"?
>
> Not really that funny, but musical.


Your'e right. NOT funny.

What is the difference between the American Flag and Disgraced singer Courtney Love? It would be wrong to pee on the American Flag


What was Elvis' worst release? His ejaculation that contained Lisa Marie


What do the Red Hot Chili Peppers and George W. Bush have in common?
They both like to shoot up everything in sight.

Why the the Prime Minister of India demand the buring of all the copies of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon? Because it's a shitty album

How many country musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Five... one to change it, and four to sing about it... since it's been gone!

Why did Metallica cut their hair?

Their barber said that is the best way to remove matted cum

My guitar teacher is really religious.

Every time I play, he closes his eyes, shakes his head and says, "Oh Lord."

why do drummers put their sticks on the dashboard?

to park in the handicap spots.

There is a monestary where all the monks take a vow of total silence.

Except for one day per year... when just one monk is allowed to speak, One year, a monk stands to speak his turn. He says, "Mick Taylor was the best guitarist the Rolling Stones ever had." He then sits down.

A year of silence passes, and it is another monk's turn to speak. A second monk stands up and says, "Ron Wood was the best guitarist the Stones ever had." He then sits down.

Another year of silence passes. A third monk stands for his turn to speak. "I am leaving the monestary," he announces. "I am sick and tired of all this constant bickering."

schillid Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There is a monestary where all the monks take a
> vow of total silence.
>
> Except for one day per year... when just one monk
> is allowed to speak, One year, a monk stands to
> speak his turn. He says, "Mick Taylor was the best
> guitarist the Rolling Stones ever had." He then
> sits down.
>
> A year of silence passes, and it is another monk's
> turn to speak. A second monk stands up and says,
> "Ron Wood was the best guitarist the Stones ever
> had." He then sits down.
>
> Another year of silence passes. A third monk
> stands for his turn to speak. "I am leaving the
> monestary," he announces. "I am sick and tired of
> all this constant bickering."


i believe that Monk was Thelonious

What do drummers use to keep the female fans away?



Their personalities.

What did the Red Hot Chili Peppers do when their record company said that they were not happy with the bands hits?

They rolled down their sleeves.

What kind of flute does a groupie play?







skin flute.

Irish Concert...





Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet.

Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.

He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice...

"Just for a moment, think outside yourself... Outside this arena...
Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A loud Irish voice from near the front pierces the moment...

"Well, ya stupid arse, stop yer fockin' clappin', then!"











Pleased 2 meet u

hope u guess my name ! woo woo

Why did god invent Gene Simmons?
- to help the sale of the Morning After pill

Why did god invent Herpes?
- So that Robin Williams cannot give his female fans something that they can turnaround and sell on Ebay