Kahoosier, i'm really sorry you've been going through all this incredible hassle over the ticket delivery/will-call question.
don't know if it'll be any help at all, but: rooting around on the TM UK site today i found this change in their change-of-address policy:
[
ticketmaster.custhelp.com]
and wonder if it means people who have friends in the UK can give TM their address for delivery.
since they no longer require a bank statement as proof, it seems like it might be a solution?