Below an article on the Stones latest adventures that appeared yesterday in the Dutch Algemeen Dagblad, a newspaper that used to be a more or less serious newspaper but has gradualy degrated to a tabloid standard -- without telling anybody.

It contains numerous false or outdated 'facts' and plain insults. I wonder how this nonsense manages to pass the final editor, regardless of what you think of the Stones and their latest mishap.



Bastion Stones vertoont scheuren
Door ARNO GELDER


’s Werelds oudste rockbastion vertoont lelijke scheuren. Hoe de brekebenen Keith Richards en Ron Wood het voortbestaan van de Rolling Stones in gevaar brengen.



Keith Richards zei het ooit poëtisch: ,,Achter ons ligt de weg bezaaid met grafstenen.’’

Het sappige cynisme van de Stones-gitarist begint echter de proporties aan te nemen van een ware profetie. Het veteranenviertal Keith Richards (62), Mick Jagger (62), Charlie Watts (65) en Ron Wood (59), ooit een bastion van gewapend beton, begint tamelijk onherstelbare scheuren te vertonen. Om op de beeldspraak van Richards terug te komen - legendarische grootverbruikers als Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Keith Moon alsmede Stones-maatje van het eerste uur Brian Jones, wenken Richards en Wood inderdaad nadrukkelijk voor hun reünie van onvergetelijke doden.

Wood werd onlangs (alweer) opgenomen in een kliniek voor alcoholverslaafden. Ronnie en de drank: het is een huwelijk dat maar niet wil vlotten. Perioden van drooglegging worden afgewisseld met mateloze slemppartijen, waarbij het, voor de goede orde, niet om een extra glaasje Jägermeister gaat.

Ook Keith Richards, bij wie het credo seks, drugs en rock ’n’ roll diep in de craquelé-plooien van zijn doorgroefde gezicht staat geëtst, betaalt de tol van een leven vol wijn en wijf. De zestiger, op vakantie met zijn familie én - tsja - Ron Wood, viel in mei uit een palmboom op het eiland Fiji in een poging een kokosnoot te bemachtigen.

Een zware hersenschudding en een noodzakelijke operatie waren het gevolg. Wat een man op die leeftijd in de kruin van een boom doet, zal altijd een raadsel blijven. Maar Keith Richards’ favoriete consumptie, wodka, aangelengd met Fanta en veenbessen, zal ongetwijfeld een bodempje hebben gelegd voor het huzarenstukje.

Bovendien gooide Richards met zijn valpartij het huidige tourschema van de Stones ernstig in de war, iets dat de afgetrainde Mick Jagger knarsetandend beziet. Het is geen geheim dat de fitte voorman van de formatie de uitspattingen van zijn personeel meer dan beu is.

Charlie Watts, ook hij zoop als een tempelier en spoot als Speedy Gonzales, loopt inmiddels weer in de pas. Maar Keith en Ron blijven zorgenkinderen. Niet in de laatste plaats omdat Jagger één grote passie kent: geld verdienen. Bij de Dagobert Duck van de rock, wiens vermogen wordt geschat op 260 miljoen euro, snijdt letterlijk elke streep door de rekening als een roestig mes door de ziel.

Gezien de levensloop van het kwartet, is het een godswonder dat Jagger, Richards, Watts en Wood nog altijd on the road zijn. De Rolling Stones gelden al 44 jaar als de enige overlevenden van de zondige steden Sodom en Gomorra, als ambassadeurs van de onmetelijke onmatigheid.

Echtgenotes, maîtresses, vriendinnetjes, scheidingen, seksorgieën, bacchanalen en drugsschandalen - waar de Stones waren, daar was het bal. Zo bekende voormalig bassist Bill Wyman in één jaar tijd een dikke tweehonderd dames onder de lakens te hebben geteld. En waar het in de prille jaren ’60 begon met een eerste verboden blowtje, nemen sommige Stones tegenwoordig hun toevlucht tot gezinsverpakkingen heroïne.

De heren werden daarbij zelden door enig moreel besef gehinderd. Richards versierde Anita Pallenberg, fotomodel en vriendin van Brian Jones, toen laatstgenoemde in een ziekenhuis lag. Mick Jagger stal en trouwde de wonderschone Jerry Hall van Roxy Music’s Bryan Ferry, maar dumpte haar toen jonge modellen als Carla Bruni en Luciana Morad Rubber Lips het hof maakten.

Mick Jagger, 18-karaats krent, vader van zeven kinderen, ijdele praalhans en sekssymbool met overschreden houdbaarheidsdatum, zette een regiment advocaten in toen Jerry Hall de helft van zijn fortuin opeiste. Jagger verklaarde zuinigjes dat het op Bali gesloten huwelijk niet door de Indonesische wet was erkend. Jerry toucheerde uiteindelijk nog geen zeven miljoen euro, in die kringen een fooi.

Maar het is juist het opstandige en onberekenbare imago waarmee de buitenissige Britten een onweerstaanbare aantrekkingskracht uitoefenen op hun fans. Toen de Stones in 1989 zich een plek verwierven in de vermaarde Rock ’n’ Roll Hall of Fame, merkte Mick Jagger fijntjes op: ,,Is het niet ironisch dat u vanavond vier keurige heren ziet die worden geëerd voor een kwart eeuw slecht gedrag?’’

De Stones staan voor bevochten vrijheid, non-conformisme, brutaliteit en, eerlijk is eerlijk, een lekker moppie muziek. Al zijn de pogingen van Sir Mick (hij werd in 2003 door de Britse vorstin Elizabeth geridderd voor ‘zijn verdiensten’ voor de muziek - in het geval van multimiljonair Jagger een treffende dubbele betekenis) om anno 2006 de ontembare Jumping Jack Flash uit te hangen wel potsierlijk.

De vraag dringt zich daarom ook op hoe lang de multinational BV de Rolling Stones nog een speler van formaat zal zijn in de populaire muziek. Met groepsleden die oud, getekend en, in het geval Wood, der dagen zat zijn, lijkt het einde nakende.

Maar: al eerder stonden sommige Stones met één been in het graf om vervolgens wonderbaarlijk te herrijzen. De stenen rollen nog steeds, al zijn ze verweerd en vertonen ze door de erosie lelijke slijtplekken.

Keith Richards en Ron Wood hopen voldoende hersteld/afgekickt te zijn om op 11 juli in Milaan de Europese A Bigger Bang-tour te beginnen. Die tour brengt de Stones op 31 juli en ergens in 2007 in de Arena in Nederland.

Keith Richards betuigde onlangs in elk geval officieel zijn spijt aan de aanhang: ,,Excuses, ik ben van mijn stokje gegaan. Sorry dat ik jullie plannen in de war heb gegooid, maar nu is het volle kracht vooruit! Ouch!’’

Source: [www.ad.nl]

HHHHHHHhhhhhhhhaaaaaahahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hahahahahahahahahahah HHHAAAAAAAAA hahahahhahhaaa... HHHHHHHHHHHHahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahha....... hahahahhaaa hahaha ha..... snif... snort.... snif....

Ah, great... needed that one...

snif... phew...

How pathetic.

Jelle

Wat een onvoorstelbaar slecht stukje populisme van die Arno Gelder.

Tuurlijk is het beste bij de Stones er af, maar bij Arno Gelder komt het beste nooit!!! Mist elke vorm van nuance.

Rob

BELACHELIJK!

For the English fans.. here's a lousy Babelfish translation:

s worldly oldest rockbastion shows ugly cracks. How the brekebenen Keith Richards and endangers Ron Wood to the existence of the Rolling Stones. Keith Richards said it ever poetic: , behind us the way lies strewn with sepulchre toes.' ' The juicy cynicism of Stones-gitarist start however the proporties of a truth adopt prophecy. The veteran set of four Keith Richards (62), Mick Jagger (62), Charlie Watt (65) and Ron Wood (59), ever a bastion of armed concrete, start fairly irreparable show cracks. To return as well as Stones-maatje of the first hour Brian Jones on the picture speech of Richards - legendary consumers such as Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Keith Moon, wenken Richards and Wood indeed express for their reünie of unforgettable deads. Wood were recently incorporated (again) in a clinic for alcohol drug addicts. Ronnie and the spirits: it is a marriage that but does not want go smoothly. Periods of draining are varied with immoderate slemppartijen, where it does not concern, for the good order, an extra glaasje Jägermeister. Also Keith Richards, at which the credo sex, drugs and rock ' n ' roll deeply in craquelé-plooien of its doorgroefde stand etched the face, pay the toll of a life full wine and wijf. The zestiger, on holiday with its family and - tsja - Ron Wood, fell in May from a palm tree on the island fiji in a attempt get hold of a coconut note. A heavy lord shaking thing and a necessary operation were the consequence. What always does a man on that age in the vertex of a tree, a riddle will remain. But Keith Richards favoriete consumption, vodka, aangelengd with Fanta and cranberries, will have laid undoubtedly a bodempje for the huzarenstukje. Moreover Richards with its fall party threw the current tourschema of the Stones seriously in the war, something that the afgetrainde Mick Jagger gnashings one's teeth consider. It is none secret that the fitte voorman of the formatie the rattans of its staff are more than tired. Charlie Watt, also he drank if a tempelier spouted and as Speedy Gonzales, runs meanwhile in is appropriate. But Keith and Ron remain care children. Not in the last place because Jagger one know large passie: money deserves. At the Dagobert Duck of the rock, whose capacity is valued on 260 millions euro, litterally each line cuts by the account as a rusty knife by the soul. Given life course of the quartet, it is a god wonder that Jagger, Richards, Watt and Wood still on the road are. The Rolling Stones are considered already 44 years as the only survivors of the sinful cities Sodom and Gomorra, as ambassadors of immense immoderation. Spouses, maîtresses, vriendinnetjes, separations, sex orgies, Bacchanals and drug scandals - where the Stones were, there were it ball. Thus well-known former bass player Bill Wyman in one year time a dikke two hundred ladies under lakens to have counted. And where in the early sixties blowtje started it with a first prohibited, some Stones take nowadays their toevlucht to economy packs heroin. The lords were seldom impeded thereby by some moral notion. Richards decorated Anita Pallenberg, photograph model and girlfriend of Brian Jones, then last mentioned in a hospital lay. Mick Jagger stole and married the wonderful Jerry hall of Roxy Music's Bryan Ferry, but dumped its then young models such as Carla Bruni and Luciana Morad rubber Lips the court made. Mick Jagger, 18-karaats krent, father of seven children, conceited praalhans and sex symbol with exceeded durability date, put a regiment lawyers in then Jerry hall half of its fortuin claimed. Jagger explained zuinigjes that it had not been recognised on bali marriage closed by the indonesian law. Jerry drew eventually seven millions still no euro, in those rings a tip. But it is correctly the rebellious and incalculable image with which eccentric at exercises an irrisistible attraction on their fans. Then the Stones in 1989, a spot acquired himself Roll hall in the renowned Rock ' n ' or Fame, saw Mick Jagger fijntjes on: , it is not ironical that vanavond neat lords sees that is honoured for a quarter century bad behaviour celebrates you?' ' The Stones to stand for gained freedom, anticonformism, insolence and, honest is honest, nice moppie music. All are the attempts of Sir Mick (he was knighted in 2003, by the British vorstin Elizabeth for ` are merits for music - in the case of multi-millionaire Jagger a finding double meaning) anno 2006 the untamable Jumping jacket Flash hang out, however, potsierlijk. The question presses himself for this reason also on how long the multinational Ltd the Rolling Stones still a player of format will be in popular music. With group members who old, signed and, in the case Wood, of the days zat is, end seems nakende. But: already earlier some Stones with one leg in the sepulchre stood rise again vervolgens miraculous. The stones roll still, already they have been defended and show them by erosion ugly slijtplekken. Keith Richards and Ron Wood hopes have repaired sufficiently/afgekickt on 11 July in milaan European a start Bigger Bang-tour. That tour brings the Stones on 31 July and somewhere in 2007, in the sand in the Netherlands. Keith Richards declared recently anyway official is spite to the followers: , Excuses, I have gone of my rod. Sorry that I plan you in the war have thrown, but now are it ahead full strength! Ouch!' '

... so have you folks emailed the editor in protest?
can you give us his/her email address so we can join in?
(or are we just making sure the piece gets worldwide publicity?)


"What do you want - what?!"
- Keith

Bad paper bad journalist.

What an excellent translation, I did´nt get a thing

Vilhelm
Nordic Stones Vikings

I would translate it myself for ye, but I haven't got the time to encapture the overly use of attributes and style errors.

For example, it says there that Charlie Watts drank like a fish and shot heroine like Speedy Gonzales.

Also:

"In the 60's it started out with a small joint, but now the Stones take family packs of heroine".



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-06-21 18:34 by Reptile.

I didn't know William Shakespeare was still working. Absolutely beautiful prose.

I Like the AD, it rocks.

I can assure you, the article doesn't make any more sense in Dutch than it does in the Babelfish-translation...

x



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-12-08 02:35 by Beelyboy.

Am I the only guy here who flunked Dutch in school ?

Among other things the article suggests that they still do heroin. Which is nonsense as far as I know. This is really the worst sort of journalism around. Imagine what happened. The journalist had been watching soccer the whole time. But he still had to write something. Not knowing what to do he wrote this bit of nonsense and handed it in to the editor, who knows shit about nothing as well. And published it is. Terrible. That guy should be ashamed of himself.
I will not start explaining how many errors in style there are, but those are quite numerous as well.

God, do I love these computerized translation jobs: "A heavy lord shaking thing and a neccessary operation were the consequennce. What always does a man on the vertex of atree a riddle will remain." Yes Master Yoda.
"Ronnie and the spirits: it is a marriage that but does not want to go smoothly."
"But already earlier some Stones with one leg in the sepulcher stood ride again vervolgens miraculous" LOL "with one leg in the sepulcher"???

"...no longer shall you trudge 'cross my peaceful mind."

The article is so full of expressions, that it is impossible to translate it with the use of an online translator. But the expressions add a lot to the violent character of the article. I will make a rough translation, but without the expressions used. So you have to add a little (a lot) juice yourself, because it will loose some in my translation. I will not spend a lot of time finding the right words, so there are bound to be some strange sentences and choices. If there are words that I do not know a proper translation for, I will describe it between [...].

The worlds eldest fortress of rock is cracking badly: how [people who always seem to injure themselves, spoil things] KR and RW endanger the future of the Rolling Stones.

KR once said poetically: behind us, the road is paved with tombestones.

The Stones guitarist's juicy cynism is growing towards becoming true prophecy.
The 4 veterans, once solid as a rock, is cracking beyond repair. To return to KR's prophetic abilities: legendary quantity-users (of drugs) as Janis, Jim, Jimi, Elvis, Keith M, as well as Stones-friend from the early days BJ, are
calling louder and louder upon KR and RW, to join them in the reunion of the famous Deaths.

Lately Wood (again) joined a rehab program. Ronnie and juice: it is a marriage that doesn't seem to improve. Periods of soberness are frequently changed for periods of unlimited slamming, and to make things clear: we are not talking about jast a single additional jägermeister.

Also KR, his Sex, Drugs and R&R written deeply into the craquelé-lines of his grooved (?) face, pays the toll of a life of wine and women. The 60+ man, on holiday with his family and - what good could come from that - RW, fell from a palmtree in Fiji, trying to find a coconut.

The results were a heavy [blow to the head] and surgery. What a man of his age is doing in the top of a tree, will remain a mystery. But for sure, KR favourite drink, wodka, fanta and berries, is at the basis of this unique performance.

ON top of this, his acting messed up the tour schedule. Something that annoyed the well trained and fit MJ big time. It is no secret that the healthy bandleader is fed up with the unresponsible behaviour of his personnel.

Charlie Watts, Charlie Watts, who drank like a fish and shot heroine like Speedy Gonzales, is behaving as required nowadays, but Keith en Ron persist in being sources of trouble. One of mick his greater concerns in this manner is his passion for money. Being the Dagobert Duck of rock, with an estimated 260 mil, each financial loss cuts through his soul like a rusty knife.

Regarding the history of the quartet, it is a devine miracle that they are still on the road. For rhe last 44 years The Stones are the only survivors of the sinful cities of Sodom and Gomorra, as ambassadors of the unlimited thirst for more and more. (drugs, juice, sex, everything)

Wifes, maitresses, girlfriends, divorces, orgies, bachanals and drugscandals - Where the stones are, the heat is on. For example, former bass player BW admitted to have shagged over 200 girls in one year. In the 60's it started out with a small joint, nowadays some of the Stones take family packs of heroine.

Seldomly the gentlemen were troubled by any sense of morality. KR hit on AP, model and BJ-girlfriend, when BJ was in hospital. MJ stole and married beautiful Jerry Hall from Bryan Ferry, but dumped her as soon as Carla Bruni and Luciana Morad showed interest in Rubber Lips.

MJ, 18 carat niggard, father of 7 children, self-satisfied prig and sexsymbol way past the perishable date, hired a regiment of lawyers when Jerry Hall demanded half his fortune. Jagger nagged that his Bali marriage wasn't approved by the Indonesian law, and therefore not valid. Jerry only got 7 mil: nothing more than a tip in their social surroundings".(?)

But it is this unreliable and rebelious behaviour that is the secret to the bands unresistable appeal to the fans.
When the stones earned their place in the famous RnR Hall of Fame, MJ made a remark: isn't it ironic (don't you think... ) that tonight, you will witness four well dressed gentlemen being honoured for 25 years of misbehaviour?

The Stones stand for freedom, non conformism, brutality and, it must be said, some nice tunes. Although the attempts of Sir MJ to act like the untameable Jumpin Jack Flash anno 2006 appear a bit desparate.

This rises the question of how long the RS inc. will remain a counting factor in popular music. With these old, worn out members, and in the case of RW, even counting his remaining days, longing for everlasting rest, the end of the band seems near.

But, it is not the first time the Stones were already with one leg in the grave, to resurrect miraculously. The stones still roll, although they are wheathered and badly eroded.

Keith Richards and Ron Wood hope to be recovered enough to start the BB tour in milan on the 11th of july. This tour will bring the Stones to the netherlands on the 31st, and sometime in 2007.

Keith Richards officially excused himself: [KR quote... ...full speed ahead ouch!]

By @#$%&

Hope you enjoyed the translation.

Jelle

I think this story makes a lot of sense...
- Ron Wood in rehab: he was supposed to go on tour a month ago;
- Keith Richards in bed: he was supposed to go on tour a month ago;
- Charlie Watts: it was never his idea the past 20 years to go on tour;
- They planned a whole tour: just 21 gigs now;
- Still no rehearsels.

You understand: I'm a bit worried they get pathetic. Many think they are...


'In the sweet old country...'

woops



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-06-22 15:12 by Reptile.

ChelseaDrugstore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> God, do I love these computerized translation
> jobs: "A heavy lord shaking thing and a neccessary
> operation were the consequennce. What always does
> a man on the vertex of atree a riddle will
> remain." Yes Master Yoda.
> "Ronnie and the spirits: it is a marriage that but
> does not want to go smoothly."
> "But already earlier some Stones with one leg in
> the sepulcher stood ride again vervolgens
> miraculous" LOL "with one leg in the
> sepulcher"???

Hahaha!! It says one leg in the grave. I just spent about a minute laughing out loud about that. I had to look up sepulcher. It's "a tomb, especially one cut in rock or built in stone".

This is priceless:

"behind us the way lies strewn with sepulchre toes"

Yes, it takes a computer only 0.1 second to make everybody have a good laugh, but it took me over an hour to translate the text, which is not funny at all... Hm, maybe I could have done something more useful with that time... ;-)

Jelle

thank you for your translation, Jelle - i appreciate it!


"What do you want - what?!"
- Keith

Ah, thank you with sssoul, that is exactly what I wanted to hear ;-), you've figured that one out alright...

Jelle

very funny article

----`---------<@
-------,-----<@
------,-------<@

roses for you Jelle, if you ain't got none -
i really do appreciate the time and effort you put into that.


"What do you want - what?!"
- Keith

Oh, get a room!!

Potted Shrimp Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I Like the AD, it rocks.


What's your words, Marc. You're in China,man. No Honky Tonk Woman, no Brown Sugar, No freedom of speech...hahaha. Hope to see you soon in the Bommel!

I'm in Holland right now for 2 weeks.....