Why are you shattered and how did you became a black limousine,rooster?

I'm learning a lesson here!!
Thanks fire!!
Needed sex to give me a good feeling about myself!
Drunk a lot and used cocaine.
I'm thinking.

This issue is very funny and serious as well.
I am just back from a team meeting in Lenzerheide which is in the Swiss Alps and I experienced the thrill of a lifetime again after all these year. I used to work also in the Winterresorts in Switzerland about 20 years ago. But those 3 days just brought me back to the wonderful drinking nights and dancing away bars.
Normally I am pretty modest, but you wouldn't believe I even smoked and I am a dedicated NON smoker. At 5.30 am in the morning our group faded as we should be on time for the team meeting at 8. I did not igve a damn shit. And just blew it.
I never felt so wonderful and I can tell you one thing:
Running around empty in a city kept clean team no matter what you do is very empty. Though you might have more money you loose the spirits and the faith in yourself. After all these I just wanna go back working with all those wonderful people I did years back in the resorts having parties all night long, team up together and really help out each other and not discussing during a team meeting how we can cheat each other the best.
See you in Barcelona, Madrid, Brussels, Paris, Bergen, Göteborg, Milano, Frankfurt, Stuttgart, Switerland (?), Londonx2, Glasgow and Sheffield.....
And see you in the air...
Do never forget: Why do you drink and drive when you can smoke and fly....

La tongue I think it's becoming aware that you need to take good care of yourself and then you'll attract people who are taking good care of themselves and others!So you got to give yourself what's good so you won't have to search it in sex,drugs,alcohol(R&R)!

ppppfffff dr Phil is in the house...,,

I read in another thread that you had a lot of male contacts.I had a lot of contacts with women to and it seems that I was searching in these contacts,cocaine and alcohol what i got to give to myself.Inside instead of outside.I'm still thinking.

a close friend of mine (who i don't see too much anymore) who has a severe drinking problem, is so deep into the bottle, that it's the #1 interest in his life...and he's the Stones fanatic who turned me on to them many years ago...now, he's only interested in the drink.....so it alienates anybody close to him.....you lose all self-respect and interest in the people and things that you love.....some people can pull themselves out of it easier than others......they're almost like a different person from the one you knew....it's both maddening and sad at the same time...and nothing you can say can help 'em....they have to make the decision to stop and act on it...i'm bracing myself mentally for the day i get a call saying he "bit the dust"....goin on 25 years of drinking is sure to take its toll on the organs....and when you reach your 40s, people start dropping from the accumulative effects......this threads driving me to drink (kidding)

Yeah rooster,don't have my own mind,dr phil's! Only 3 holes!

No sex,drugs,rock n'roll.But I'm the world's greatest liar.

Down In A hole.....those Americans...nightclubs....I found this thing insulting....I never cared If one used or not ...I like you or not...jesus just be glad you are the one thats clean!! a good spirit can destroy himself,or not!!My heroes is junk!!!I would never leave a friend on drugs!!!There is a band-secu gang called bon jovi the perfect RR&RR band for '''take good care of yourself persons!!!fuc-of give Bruce a shot!!!!

Everybody doing the Jane Fonda now!!!!

But rooster, when someone is addicted to sex,drugs,alcohol or something else, do you think this person can give you good love? Don't you think it's given to get something cause he or she can't give this to themselves??!

Fire, I understand what you mean.
Having sex to make them love me ,using cocaine and alcohol cause I couldn't give love to myself,hiding in a way of life calls Rock and Roll.
Hate to see and say it.

La tongue let the hate go and do some good things with what you see!!!!

It seems I never get satisfied.I always want more sex,more cocaine and more alcohol.I know it's not good for me, and if I give myself the chance to feel it I can feel it to.What does this have to do with being into rock and roll?

I don't know how music and the people going with flows you like influenced your behaviour,La tongue.I know what it did to me when I was into modelling,dance,singing and other arts,the people around me did influence me as you can read in other posts.
I know I wanna be back in music again,sing, without the things I did there before but I also know that I'm not strong enough at the moment.I"ve got to work and fight and change,got to learn to take good care and got to be with people who take good care,and I hope one day I'll be strong enough,so I can stand it all but enjoy it all to!!!

I'm tempted to answer with specifics, but keep thinking about that wise old saying "never put anything incriminating in writing!" Even if you're 99.9% sure it will never be connected to you or fall into the wrong hands.

Let's just say that I'm much, much better than I used to be! I still need to cut back a bit, but I don't ever plan on stopping completely. For some going cold turkey is the only way, but most are able to indulge moderately and still have a good time with few if any ill effects. I'm working my way toward being one of those people.

I know what rock and roll did to me,it made me rich but it made me poor also.
It made me poor but I'll become rich again,cause I'm a good guy and I'm gonna treat myself the way that I need to treat myself.Not just sex,cocaine and alcohol I'm going for the love inside so I can give it to the outside world!
Wish me luck, a change is coming!!!

Good luck ,La tongue!!!
If you're willing and able ,post, once in a while, about the coming changes!

At the time I was into singing,playing drums and songwriting I met Doug Wimbish,he was interested in working together but I was A bit shy,I know if I used cocaine,I wasn't that shy anymore!! On stage the same,this are a few examples which made me see that I had to grow otherwise I would destroy myself,don't want it to be like this anymore!
Anyone had this stage-experiences??

Not with cocaine, rooster. With whiskey. The first gigs we played, we were so nervous, and I was singing, which made it even worse. My goodness how much whiskey that went down! But the concerts were good. After about 10 concerts, I realized that I played much better if I was sober (2-3 beers is allright, though).

NOOOOOOO drugs, the DEA would REAL issues with my license if they caught me! I do enjoy more than my fair share of Jack and Lone Star beer however, haha. REALLY tried to become a smoker in college but me lungs said "NOOOOOO"! RockN Roll, STL and MU sports teams, and SEXY blondes (and the occasional Asian girl) are my real addictions!

I don't do drugs (except the odd Advil for when I have a headache lol)
I don't drink (if it don't taste like cola, orange juice or chocolate milk then I don't drink it)
The only really bad addictions that I have are Pepsi, chocolate and this board!!! Gotta cut down on the first two but the third one I'll be forever addicted to! Thanks bv!!!

Another crazy thought where I need to get rid of is that having a good time,a party, is to drink,take xtc,cocaine,weed and lots of cigarettes,also there got to be good music and a man to have hot sex with!!
A long time I had this strange idea with those the party was cool,hot and wild!!
But there gotta be a way to have a real good time ,maybe even better,without it all when you don't just have sex,drugs etc.but have good time in clean conversations,dancing,singing and make passionated love to each other !!!
Did someone make those changes?
I stopped doing a lot of what I did,but sometimes it feels if there's something missing,maybe this feeling is going away.
Tell me if you want to.

fire Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Another crazy thought where I need to get rid of
> is that having a good time,a party, is to
> drink,take xtc,cocaine,weed and lots of
> cigarettes,also there got to be good music and a
> man to have hot sex with!!
> A long time I had this strange idea with those the
> party was cool,hot and wild!!
> But there gotta be a way to have a real good time
> ,maybe even better,without it all when you don't
> just have sex,drugs etc.but have good time in
> clean conversations,dancing,singing and make
> passionated love to each other !!!
> Did someone make those changes?
> I stopped doing a lot of what I did,but sometimes
> it feels if there's something missing,maybe this
> feeling is going away.
> Tell me if you want to.


maybe there's a balance between the party lifestyle and the quiet lifestyle where one doesnt destroy the other......imo

fire, i think i love you haha

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-03-15 21:29 by Lukester.

Ididn't write about a party lifestyle and a quiet lifestyle.I wrote about the strange thougt that having a party was the best doing all the things I did.

I see, to have a real good party,I gotta search in my inside and not outside myself in drugs,alcohol and sex.

I think it's better conversating when you aren't drunk,high or stoned.I think loving each other, when you don't use all of this and just have sex,feels better.

And I'm serious about the sex addiction also.
It's no fun when you wake up and you don't have enough dopamin,serotonin (neurotransmitters)left to feel happy about what you shared together,cause you used cocaine,speed or xtc.Heaving a headache because of the alcohol doesn't make you feelgood to.
I found out that just having sex can be so cold!!!

So I think treating yourselve good makes you treat someone else good.
I'm not going to search for a balance between the way I lived and the way I wanna live.
I need to change and I hope and think the emptyness I sometimes feel will go away!!!

It's so strange when I was into social work I was able to help people with all kinds of problems and addictions,but helping myself is a hard job!!

For example there is this "friend"I used to write songs with,8 years we worked together,I love to work with him again,but he drinks A lot,at the moment I'm to weak to ignore the alcohol.

Making new friends is hard too cause I can't go to a pub,performance and stand it all and like this behaviour when I'm trying to stay sober.

Anyone went through this all succesfully???!!

And Lukester, I could share some pics and video's and films if I search in my past,but I don't have to,just close your eyes and imagine....,no, I'm just kidding too!!!!

But your reaction brought me to another subject,a photograph or porn addiction,or enjoying these forms of "art ".

I'm that kind of woman who liked to feed her eyes and senses with beautifull muscled male body's,was very visual,but this changed.

But couldn't, enjoy or, get excited watching photographs or films, is this more a male thing??

There is nothing better then real contact...love...IMO

"The smell of your flesh excites me,my blood starts to flow,so help me god"