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Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Rockman ()
Date: August 16, 2020 02:39

I just sold some homing
pigeons on Ebay for the 50th time ........



ROCKMAN

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: EddieByword ()
Date: August 16, 2020 05:48

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?



Here come the elephants..............................

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Rockman ()
Date: August 16, 2020 05:56

I accidentally swallowed
some Lego at a party last night ....

The doctors aren't too
worried but I'm shitting bricks ....



ROCKMAN

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TheBadRabbit ()
Date: August 16, 2020 07:53

I've got a friend who's addicted to brake fluid. "Don't worry," he says. "I can stop anytime."

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: U2Stonesfan ()
Date: August 16, 2020 08:35

Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

Because pot holder was already taken -rim shot-

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 16, 2020 14:28

Did you hear about the Diner on the Moon?

Great Food but no atmosphere.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: chris girard ()
Date: August 16, 2020 16:25

Quote
EddieByword
Quote
chris girard
I played golf today, it was finally cool enough to play. Its been in the high 90's( 32 C) and with humidity, close to 100 (37C). I live outside of Washington, DC.

I was told that golf was invented in Scotland, and I was also told they invented the word F*CK.

That's my golf joke from across the pond, stay safe, wear your masks.

.... on that subject of etymology, here's another, most villages, towns and cities in the UK named their redlight districts as Gropecunt St/road/lane/place until about 500 years ago....[en.wikipedia.org] .....mind you, the author Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300s use to use the word queynte in that context....


You folks have a rich history of language, which us Americans just copy.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 16, 2020 16:32

Why did the man become an archaeologist?


Because his life was in "Ruins"

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: EddieByword ()
Date: August 16, 2020 17:26

Quote
chris girard
Quote
EddieByword
Quote
chris girard
I played golf today, it was finally cool enough to play. Its been in the high 90's( 32 C) and with humidity, close to 100 (37C). I live outside of Washington, DC.

I was told that golf was invented in Scotland, and I was also told they invented the word F*CK.

That's my golf joke from across the pond, stay safe, wear your masks.

.... on that subject of etymology, here's another, most villages, towns and cities in the UK named their redlight districts as Gropecunt St/road/lane/place until about 500 years ago....[en.wikipedia.org] .....mind you, the author Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300s use to use the word queynte in that context....


You folks have a rich history of language, which us Americans just copy.


But not when it comes to Math and Maths (UK) ............. winking smiley

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TooTough ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:00






Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:13

No Offense... Please do not ruin this humorous thread with politics...

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TooTough ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:32

Quote
Chris Fountain
No Offense... Please do not ruin this humorous thread with politics...

Sometimes it´s both.


Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:37

Quote
TooTough
Quote
Chris Fountain
No Offense... Please do not ruin this humorous thread with politics...

Sometimes it´s both.


I know you mean well and the impersonation is great - but I don't want this thread to be closed... We need humor and political figures are a no-no. I just don't want any more disappointments.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TooTough ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:40

Quote
Chris Fountain
Quote
TooTough
Quote
Chris Fountain
No Offense... Please do not ruin this humorous thread with politics...

Sometimes it´s both.


I know you mean well and the impersonation is great - but I don't want
this thread to be closed... We need humor and political figures are
a no-no. I just don't want any more disappointments.

Yes, I started this thread, so I should know.
But it´s just an impersonation of a president´s original words.
Let the people watch it - and then keep posting other jokes or videos.


Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:41

Why are Low Carb diets unpopular?

They go against the "grain".

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TooTough ()
Date: August 16, 2020 18:48

In German:




Translation (an attempt):


(the first one):
Two sitting in a bar.

1: "What are you doing at the moment?"
2. "We are making music in a quartet."
1: "So how many are you?"
2: "Three guys."
1: "Who?"
2: "Me and my brother."
1: "You have a brother?"
2: "No."





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2020-08-16 18:50 by TooTough.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 16, 2020 19:53

Why was the car running on fumes?

Because it was passing gas!!thumbs up

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: SomeTorontoGirl ()
Date: August 17, 2020 03:50

May have been posted before, but watching someone listen to Gimme Shelter for the first time... the kids are all right. grinning smiley






Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 17, 2020 20:08

Why did the Baseball Catcher spend the night at the baseball field?

Because he felt at Home.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 18, 2020 18:32

Why are Grizzlies good Hikers?

They only carry the bear necessities!

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TooTough ()
Date: August 19, 2020 00:43






Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 19, 2020 14:12

Why was the airplane flight so stinky?

There was a tail wind.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: TooTough ()
Date: August 19, 2020 17:40

"I was raised by two lesbians..."






Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 19, 2020 18:19

Why did the pencil stink?



Because it was a "Number 2"

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 20, 2020 14:27

Why wouldn't the electrician re-wire the house?


He thought it was re-volting.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 21, 2020 14:13

What is a Shark's favorite lunch?

A Peanut Butter and Jelly Fish sandwich

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 21, 2020 18:57

Why do Coffee beans always make trouble?

They always end up in hot water.

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: jbwelda ()
Date: August 21, 2020 19:21

How can you tell its bear poop?

Look for the bells.


(for those who don't know, it is common practice to wear bells while hiking in Grizzly Bear country, the noise supposedly lets them know you are there so they will scamper away like the harmless, playful little critters they are.)

jb

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Chris Fountain ()
Date: August 21, 2020 20:47

"Summer" by War (lyrics below video)


[www.youtube.com]


Summer
War
Ridin' 'round town with all the windows down
Eight track playin' all your fav'rite sounds
The rhythm of the bongos fill the park
The street musicians tryin' to get a start

'Cause it's summer
Summer time is here
Yes it's summer
My time of year
Yes it's summer
My time of year

Stretched out on a blanket in the sand
Kids of all ages diggin' Disneyland
Rappin' on the C.B. radio in your van
We'll give a big ten four to the truckin' man

'Cause it's summer
Summer time is here
Yes it's summer
My time of year
Yes it's summer
My time of year

Young boys playin' stick ball in the street
Fire hydrants help to beat the heat
Old man feeding pigeons in the square
Nighttime finds young lovers walking there

'Cause it's summer
Summer time is here
Yes it's summer

In Atlantic City or out in Malibu
Or any where between, I'm telling you
When you feel those balmy breezes on your face
Summer time is the best time any place

'Cause it's summer
Summer time is here
Yes it's summer
My time of year
'Cause it's summer
Summer time is here (yes it is)
Yes it's summer
My time of year
'Cause it's summer
Summer time is here
Yes it's summer (yes it is)
My time of year

Re: The "Let´s Cheer Us Up" thread
Posted by: Jfk19562003 ()
Date: August 22, 2020 03:59

The author of the new book on Charlie Watts actually got a phone call from Charlie boy, thanking him for the book. They talked for a bit.
Made me amile.

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