I am very saddened and shocked to hear about L'Wren. I do not think it was her business alone that would make her do something like this but it is very sad if that is true. Also, if Mick and her were no longer together and no matter how their relationship was, I do not blame Mick. People who are not depressed cannot fathom how someone could actually do this. I do not want to speculate about them and wish to be respectful, but am hoping I can help people understand depression.

I never planned to divulge this to anyone and I hope no one is offended with me talking about myself but I have had bouts with depression and about 3 years ago, I contemplated suicide and thankfully got through it. Obviously, everyone is different and has different problems but for me, committing suicide was not about being a coward or courageous, or trying to hurt anyone else or trying to gain attention. It was about taking away the excruciating pain I had in my heart. I had been taking care of my ill mother, then lost her, a special love and my job at the same time, all very abruptly. The pain from all this combined with feeling guilty about losing my patience with my mother, dealing with receiving the "silent treatment" from my love and stress of losing my job (after just buying a new house) was unbearable and I thought the only way to stop the terrible pain was to end my life. None of my friends or family knew I was in such bad shape and I could've easily done it had I wanted to. Thankfully, I kept circling back to my children and knew I had to get better. But it was never about being a coward, or courageous, it was about feeling hopeless and suffering such unbearable pain in my heart that cannot even be expressed in words. That's why I can understand why people self-mutilate also. The pain they self-inflict is less painful than the other pain they are feeling.

The other point I wanted to bring up is mental health and one's diet. I think this can be very important, especially if someone is thin to begin with, since they have no reserve. I was always 10-15 lbs underweight and didn't take in a lot of fat (which is very good for your mental health). When I felt suicidal, I had skipped eating for a day or two, and was so thin and couldn't sleep (because of not eating enough). I think my lack of nutrition and sleep caused a chemical imbalance that made me unable to deal with my situation and inflated all my terrible feelings.

Mental illness and depression is a terrible disease and everyone has their own situation but I thought I would share mine. It's very hard for someone who has not had it to understand it. Again, I hope I haven't talked too much about myself, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about this terrible situation.

And the world keeps turning
And life goes on
The world keeps turning
May your heart stay strong.....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014-03-19 23:09 by TrulyMicks.

Hey TrulyMicks ,
I know your pain as I too have had these feelings of despair and still do .
To those of you who are here and feel this way do not feel embarrased or so destitute that you do not discuss them with a freind or better yet a healthcare professional .

Thank you for your very intimate report!

I think it´s necessary to reveal and talk about these issues, in general - rather than "the show must go on" attitude. And with "the show" I do not only mean the concert shows......

(But better change it to an Off Topic thread!??)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014-03-19 16:47 by ThroughTheLonelyNights.

Huge respect to you for broaching this sensitive subject. I'm also more than familiar with the 'black dog' so my heart goes out to all involved at this tragic time in the Stones camp. Depression is particularly prevalent amongst high-achievers who can rarely reach their own expectations. To the outside world L'Wren Scott had it all. How little we really know about how desperately lonely the world can be even amongst the envied glitterati. And when you're down in a hole you become not only your own prisoner but your own captor too. And I very much doubt that anyone could have predicted or prevented this terrible outcome.

'Life is but a day, a fragile dewdrop on its perilous way, from a tree's summit.'

Thank you for sharing this and making us stop & think, TM.
I truely respect whatever power inside of you it was that made (or helped) you face up to all these challenges...

Stay safe, stay strong, stay proud - and Rock On.

TM, thank you for sharing your experience in contemplating your own suicide.
If I may ask a couple of questions...

How long did you feel you were ready to exit this world?
How long did it take you to feel better after those depths?

~"Love is Strong"~

Best of luck to those suffer. May bright sunny days be just around the bend.

I thought it was brave for trulymicks to come out and say how depression have
affected his life.
I lost my son because of mental illness 6 years ago, and i can say its just the worst type of death to have to deal with.There is no easy way to deal with it,and its taken me years to come to terms with michaels death.
Michael was a great stones fan and we had a wonderful father/son relasionship,and i have wonderful memories of me and mike watching the stones on the licks tour.
Hearing of micks loss has really saddened me, as it brought mikes death back into focus, but im stonger now.
It will take mick jagger along long time to deal with this, weeks into months and months into years, then mabe he will learn to live with the pain.
As you don't get over a death like this, you just learn to live with it, as its f**ks your head up.
And with mick hitting 71 years old, its a terrible shock to the system, so i wish him all the best in coming to terms with this terrible death.

I lost a very good friend to this a long time ago its a very sad thing

TrulyMicks,

I have thought about it, too. I never really posted anything like this but here goes.

Sometimes the darkness is just too much. The residual pain from being repeatedly told by my adoptive father that I was a failure, that all of my weaknesses were genetic, that I never lived up to his expectations and so on has been very hard to live with. To add to that, my in-laws, wife and extended family seem to be so disappointed in me and often take his side, hell, anyone's side but mine.

When I am on my own for a day I know that I am good person, modestly successful in my field (successful enough to be happy about myself), not a criminal and well educated.

Over the last 10 years I have spent so much time trying to prove myself to all of them that I no longer have time for hobbies, Stones concerts, or friends. Actually, I don't have friends anymore. Maybe I will get to listen to the Stones while I do yard work or paperwork on weekends-that makes me happy but the rest is just work and for people that neither respect me or appreciate all that I do for them.

I was thinking about smashing my car into a truck just last week, and this will sound really pathetic, but I thought about the Stones tour and the European leg. I was thinking that I might just get to a show if I worked on doing it really cheap (overnight train instead of a hotel, kind of thing, or a hostel or something). I thought maybe I deserve to go one more time even though no one would understand or approve.

Those thoughts got me through the moment. The truck passed and the road was clear. Then I went home and back to the misery. But I did log onto this board and check for any European announcements. Rome looks like a good place to go.

These dark thoughts come and go. I don't think I am different from anyone else or more special. But sometimes I also think that I don't deserve to be here anymore.

Quote
SPellegrino
TrulyMicks,

I have thought about it, too. I never really posted anything like this but here goes.

Sometimes the darkness is just too much. The residual pain from being repeatedly told by my adoptive father that I was a failure, that all of my weaknesses were genetic, that I never lived up to his expectations and so on has been very hard to live with. To add to that, my in-laws, wife and extended family seem to be so disappointed in me and often take his side, hell, anyone's side but mine.

When I am on my own for a day I know that I am good person, modestly successful in my field (successful enough to be happy about myself), not a criminal and well educated.

Over the last 10 years I have spent so much time trying to prove myself to all of them that I no longer have time for hobbies, Stones concerts, or friends. Actually, I don't have friends anymore. Maybe I will get to listen to the Stones while I do yard work or paperwork on weekends-that makes me happy but the rest is just work and for people that neither respect me or appreciate all that I do for them.

I was thinking about smashing my car into a truck just last week, and this will sound really pathetic, but I thought about the Stones tour and the European leg. I was thinking that I might just get to a show if I worked on doing it really cheap (overnight train instead of a hotel, kind of thing, or a hostel or something). I thought maybe I deserve to go one more time even though no one would understand or approve.

Those thoughts got me through the moment. The truck passed and the road was clear. Then I went home and back to the misery. But I did log onto this board and check for any European announcements. Rome looks like a good place to go.

These dark thoughts come and go. I don't think I am different from anyone else or more special. But sometimes I also think that I don't deserve to be here anymore.

I don't really feel I quite know what to say right now (perhaps I'll be able to articulate myself better later) but I your post really touched me. As did TrulyMick's.

I also wasn't planning on posting anything too personal. But I so respect you both (and others on here) for writing of your personal experiences of depression and suicide.

I've also been there - and did actually go as far as making a suicide attempt. It was a long time ago now and I don't like to think about how I was at that time because it truly seemed like I was in another mind.

And I relate very much to how you feel about the Stones providing solace. I've had some dark times and thinking of seeing the Stones in concert again has helped me through. I'm also on a budget but am determined to try and go to Rome. I do so much hope that you are able to go - and that it helps you in some way.

I mainly wanted to post something right now - simply to really wish you so much strength to get through this.

Please, SPellegrino, please don't think you don't deserve to be here. I know only too well how hard it is to change that mindset and feel things can get better. But please know that you do very much deserve to be here. Things can get better - and please try and reach out for support or help, if not from friends but professionals.

Im quite shocked after reading your post Spellegrino, i hope you stay positive, and find away forward.If you need to chat, then i can give you my email address.
You say you don't have any friends, but you have one here, and others on rest of this stones site i should imagine.

My best friend attempted suicide less than two weeks ago. I had seen her the same day and everything was great. This is always a shock to those affected. We try to use our reason to understand "why", and put ourselves in the same place, but the fact is with mental illness or severe depression, there is no rational "why". Suicide is rarely a rational choice. People get to a place where they are so down they literally cannot conceive of a possible way out, and having all the love, friends, and family support in the world is not even enough. People have to want to get better. They have to want to live. If they don't, none of the help and support, professional, medical, and emotional is going to prevent that person from wanting to take their life, and if they fail, trying to do it again. In the music world, the cases of Kurt Cobain and Elliott Smith are good examples.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014-03-19 18:55 by 71Tele.

It's quite striking how many people report here about depression/suicide they have experienced themselves or their friends, relatives and people they know well. It's evident that it's a huge societal problem and seemingly also a big taboo.

Respect to the people who are sharing their stories! I have had a similar experiences within my family as well. One feels so helpless, because there aren't really anything you can do to help, other than being there...

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terry
Im quite shocked after reading your post Spellegrino, i hope you stay positive, and find away forward.If you need to chat, then i can give you my email address.
You say you don't have any friends, but you have one here, and others on rest of this stones site i should imagine.

Agree. I hope you make the Rome show SP - do it for yourself, you deserve it. And best to TrulyMicks too.

Quote
DandelionPowderman
Respect to the people who are sharing their stories! I have had a similar experiences within my family as well. One feels so helpless, because there aren't really anything you can do to help, other than being there...

Much respect to them for sure Dandie! And to those who stand by them.

I went through my own personal experience with depression and suicidal thoughts too. Thank you for sharing, reading your post; I could relate to so much, the way my life had ended up put me in a very dark place for 5-6 years.

The two things I credit for helping me stay alive were 1. music, and 2. my growing understanding and accepting that there is no god, no afterlife, no heaven, no hell. We have one life, and one life only. When I die, I will simply cease to exist.

Embracing these things not only helped me during those dark times, but they continue to be integral parts of my life to this day. Letting go of the dogmatic mind-f$%& that is religion was completely liberating and has actually revitalized my interest in science and how the universe really works.

[thepowergoats.com]

Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

Quote
vudicus
Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

It felt like the base of my skull was cemented to my spine. Tear ducts always filled and ready to burst (which hurts a lot), weakness & fatigue, and food? haha, forget it.

[thepowergoats.com]

SPellegrino I hope you can come to realize that you are not here to live up to what others want or expect. It sounds to me like you are a pretty together person. Work on pleasing yourself and let anyone who wants come along for the ride. Don't tailor your life to others' expectations.

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jamesfdouglas

Quote
vudicus
Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

It felt like the base of my skull was cemented to my spine. Tear ducts always filled and ready to burst (which hurts a lot), weakness & fatigue, and food? haha, forget it.

Yes, I understand that pain.

Do you play guitar. I play. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes only occasionally. I call it guitar therapy now. It gets other parts of my brain moving and gets me out of endless negative feedback loops of failure and disappointment. the weird thing is if I met in a store and we talked you would have no idea what I've been through and struggle with. it is a very interior kind of evil.

Maybe Rome. Maybe. We'll see.

Quote
SPellegrino

Quote
jamesfdouglas

Quote
vudicus
Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

It felt like the base of my skull was cemented to my spine. Tear ducts always filled and ready to burst (which hurts a lot), weakness & fatigue, and food? haha, forget it.

Yes, I understand that pain.

Do you play guitar. I play. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes only occasionally. I call it guitar therapy now. It gets other parts of my brain moving and gets me out of endless negative feedback loops of failure and disappointment. the weird thing is if I met in a store and we talked you would have no idea what I've been through and struggle with. it is a very interior kind of evil.

Maybe Rome. Maybe. We'll see.

I do play guitar. Sadly when I'm at my lowest, I even find that a struggle.
I used to write songs but sadly that seems to have dried up.

Excellent point about meeting people and they have no idea.
I've often said you have to put on "the mask" when you're around people.
I've told acquaintances before who had no idea that I had these problems because I seemed so together when I was around them. They had no idea of the problems I had inside. That's one of the problems with this illness, it's not like having a missing limb or something visibly apparent.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014-03-19 20:49 by vudicus.

When I feel blue and down music is the tonic that sooths my soul, I don't know why, but I have alot of artists and groups that help me through, Stones, Dylan, Beatles, old blues artists from the twenties and thirties.
Depression is insidious it becomes well established before becoming apparent.

Quote
vudicus

Quote
SPellegrino

Quote
jamesfdouglas

Quote
vudicus
Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

It felt like the base of my skull was cemented to my spine. Tear ducts always filled and ready to burst (which hurts a lot), weakness & fatigue, and food? haha, forget it.

Yes, I understand that pain.

Do you play guitar. I play. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes only occasionally. I call it guitar therapy now. It gets other parts of my brain moving and gets me out of endless negative feedback loops of failure and disappointment. the weird thing is if I met in a store and we talked you would have no idea what I've been through and struggle with. it is a very interior kind of evil.

Maybe Rome. Maybe. We'll see.

I do play guitar. Sadly when I'm at my lowest, I even find that a struggle.
I used to write songs but sadly that seems to have dried up.

Excellent point about meeting people and they have no idea.
I've often said you have to put on "the mask" when you're around people.
I've told acquaintances before who had no idea that I had these problems because I seemed so together when I was around them. They had no idea of the problems I had inside. That's one of the problems with this illness, it's not like having a missing limb or something visibly apparent.

Yes, a "mask" is a good description. I sometimes have a hard time just getting out of the house without the "mask". And yes it is hard to play music or even listen to it when things are really bad.

Do you sometimes feel everyone talks to you without a filter or without thinking first? And then your otherwise normal day just spirals?

Quote
SPellegrino

Quote
vudicus

Quote
SPellegrino

Quote
jamesfdouglas

Quote
vudicus
Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

It felt like the base of my skull was cemented to my spine. Tear ducts always filled and ready to burst (which hurts a lot), weakness & fatigue, and food? haha, forget it.

Yes, I understand that pain.

Do you play guitar. I play. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes only occasionally. I call it guitar therapy now. It gets other parts of my brain moving and gets me out of endless negative feedback loops of failure and disappointment. the weird thing is if I met in a store and we talked you would have no idea what I've been through and struggle with. it is a very interior kind of evil.

Maybe Rome. Maybe. We'll see.

I do play guitar. Sadly when I'm at my lowest, I even find that a struggle.
I used to write songs but sadly that seems to have dried up.

Excellent point about meeting people and they have no idea.
I've often said you have to put on "the mask" when you're around people.
I've told acquaintances before who had no idea that I had these problems because I seemed so together when I was around them. They had no idea of the problems I had inside. That's one of the problems with this illness, it's not like having a missing limb or something visibly apparent.

Yes, a "mask" is a good description. I sometimes have a hard time just getting out of the house without the "mask". And yes it is hard to play music or even listen to it when things are really bad.

Do you sometimes feel everyone talks to you without a filter or without thinking first? And then your otherwise normal day just spirals?

I often find that people are engaging me in conversation and my mind tends to drift off on other things and become detached from whats going on around me.
I also find that sometimes I like having people around me, but I find the normal sound of voices etc. to be quite grating and I prefer near silence.
It's very odd to want people there but not to want any interaction.

Quote
vudicus

Quote
SPellegrino

Quote
vudicus

Quote
SPellegrino

Quote
jamesfdouglas

Quote
vudicus
Thank you to you all for sharing your experiences with this illness.

I am also someone who suffers heavily from depression.
I have bipolar II (manic depression) and borderline personality disorder.

It's often difficult for non sufferers to understand as everyone has highs and lows but when you have this illness, you have no control of it, it takes over and consumes your whole being.

I've tried to explain the physical pain that you feel when you at your lowest points. The best way I could explain it like this.
If you've ever had your heart broken, imagine that ache in every limb in your body, from your head to your feet. You are completely defenseless to this and knowing that there is one solution that can make this pain stop can be a very tempting concept. There are no feelings of "this will pass" or "this will get better", you are completely consumed with negative thoughts and feelings.

It felt like the base of my skull was cemented to my spine. Tear ducts always filled and ready to burst (which hurts a lot), weakness & fatigue, and food? haha, forget it.

Yes, I understand that pain.

Do you play guitar. I play. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes only occasionally. I call it guitar therapy now. It gets other parts of my brain moving and gets me out of endless negative feedback loops of failure and disappointment. the weird thing is if I met in a store and we talked you would have no idea what I've been through and struggle with. it is a very interior kind of evil.

Maybe Rome. Maybe. We'll see.

I do play guitar. Sadly when I'm at my lowest, I even find that a struggle.
I used to write songs but sadly that seems to have dried up.

Excellent point about meeting people and they have no idea.
I've often said you have to put on "the mask" when you're around people.
I've told acquaintances before who had no idea that I had these problems because I seemed so together when I was around them. They had no idea of the problems I had inside. That's one of the problems with this illness, it's not like having a missing limb or something visibly apparent.

Yes, a "mask" is a good description. I sometimes have a hard time just getting out of the house without the "mask". And yes it is hard to play music or even listen to it when things are really bad.

Do you sometimes feel everyone talks to you without a filter or without thinking first? And then your otherwise normal day just spirals?

I often find that people are engaging me in conversation and my mind tends to drift off on other things and become detached from whats going on around me.
I also find that sometimes I like having people around me, but I find the normal sound of voices etc. to be quite grating and I prefer near silence.
It's very odd to want people there but not to want any interaction.

I have felt that way about crowds and conversation sometimes but not always. I probably have a little bit of Asperger's syndrome. After a party or concert I need to be left alone for a couple days to decompress. With my in-laws I have to have a few days preparing the "mask" since they have been so nasty (see post above) and then a few days to come down again. Its after these encounters that I get very low because I have heard nothing positive. They seem to have a grocery list of what I do wrong. I could spend all weekend painting my house but when they arrive they will find the spot that the brush a roller were not very good or I was about to fall off the ladder and decided "hey that's by the gutter, no one will see if it isn't perfect.. except them and all their friends.

Anyway, it is tough sometimes to cope.

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MarthaTuesday

Quote
SPellegrino
TrulyMicks,

I have thought about it, too. I never really posted anything like this but here goes.

Sometimes the darkness is just too much. The residual pain from being repeatedly told by my adoptive father that I was a failure, that all of my weaknesses were genetic, that I never lived up to his expectations and so on has been very hard to live with. To add to that, my in-laws, wife and extended family seem to be so disappointed in me and often take his side, hell, anyone's side but mine.

When I am on my own for a day I know that I am good person, modestly successful in my field (successful enough to be happy about myself), not a criminal and well educated.

Over the last 10 years I have spent so much time trying to prove myself to all of them that I no longer have time for hobbies, Stones concerts, or friends. Actually, I don't have friends anymore. Maybe I will get to listen to the Stones while I do yard work or paperwork on weekends-that makes me happy but the rest is just work and for people that neither respect me or appreciate all that I do for them.

I was thinking about smashing my car into a truck just last week, and this will sound really pathetic, but I thought about the Stones tour and the European leg. I was thinking that I might just get to a show if I worked on doing it really cheap (overnight train instead of a hotel, kind of thing, or a hostel or something). I thought maybe I deserve to go one more time even though no one would understand or approve.

Those thoughts got me through the moment. The truck passed and the road was clear. Then I went home and back to the misery. But I did log onto this board and check for any European announcements. Rome looks like a good place to go.

These dark thoughts come and go. I don't think I am different from anyone else or more special. But sometimes I also think that I don't deserve to be here anymore.

I don't really feel I quite know what to say right now (perhaps I'll be able to articulate myself better later) but I your post really touched me. As did TrulyMick's.

I also wasn't planning on posting anything too personal. But I so respect you both (and others on here) for writing of your personal experiences of depression and suicide.

I've also been there - and did actually go as far as making a suicide attempt. It was a long time ago now and I don't like to think about how I was at that time because it truly seemed like I was in another mind.

And I relate very much to how you feel about the Stones providing solace. I've had some dark times and thinking of seeing the Stones in concert again has helped me through. I'm also on a budget but am determined to try and go to Rome. I do so much hope that you are able to go - and that it helps you in some way.

I mainly wanted to post something right now - simply to really wish you so much strength to get through this.

Please, SPellegrino, please don't think you don't deserve to be here. I know only too well how hard it is to change that mindset and feel things can get better. But please know that you do very much deserve to be here. Things can get better - and please try and reach out for support or help, if not from friends but professionals.

Thank you.

Quote
terry
Im quite shocked after reading your post Spellegrino, i hope you stay positive, and find away forward.If you need to chat, then i can give you my email address.
You say you don't have any friends, but you have one here, and others on rest of this stones site i should imagine.

Thank you. Maybe sometime we will talk. Thank you.

Hey SPellegrino,

I don't know you from adam, but you seem like a decent person to me.
As others have already said, you have friends here.

And don't forget, the only persons expectations you have to live up to are your own. I know that's an easy thing to say and not such an easy thing to do, but finding your own happiness in what you do is the important thing, and anyone who seems to find happiness in your unhappiness, well, they're not worth pleasing.

I apologize if I speak out of turn in any way about people close to you, it just seems they need a little more understanding of your illness and their affect on it.