Kid Rock beer sounds, um, er ... tasty?
Posted by Andrew Heller | The Flint Journal February 21, 2009 09:03AM
Categories: Andy's Journal columns
Mmmm, Kid Rock.
The news said a Michigan brewing company is coming out with a beer named after Kid Rock.
Is that a good idea? And by that I mean, is that appetizing?
No matter how I say it, it doesn't sound right.
"Hey, barkeep, gimme a tall, sweaty glass of Kid Rock."
"Mmm, Kid Rock tastes great, and it's less filling!"
"Hey, guys, how about after the game we go toss back a few Kid Rocks?"
Maybe it's just me, but my gut reaction to hoisting a frothy mug of Kid Rock is - to use an expression favored by my 12-year-old daughter when I take off my shirt in the summer - eyeww, gross!
Please don't misunderstand. It's not him, per se. I, in fact, like, uh, Mr. Rock.
I think "Bawitdaba" is one of the coolest rock songs ever written, even though I have no idea what a bawitdaba is. (If it's dirty, I apologize. Forgive me. I'm middle-aged.)
I love his new, mellower single "All Summer Long," which is about good times and bad behavior (often one and the same) in northern Michigan. In fact, I like the song so much, I think I'm going to buy the whole album it's on. (Note to any iPod generation readers who might be reading this on their cell phones: "Album" is a term that your parents used back in the Cenozoic Era to denote a large, flat disc that contained numerous songs by the same artist.)
I also like the fact that Michigan Brewing Co. in Webberville expects to sell 100,000 cases of Kid Rock beer a year, thereby creating (by the hopeful and improbably precise math of state government, anyway) as many as 394 jobs.
I even like the fact that Kid Rock, who grew up in Romeo, still seems to live here in Michigan, at least some of the time. How many other entertainers do that after they make it big? Other than Kid Rock, I can think of only three -- Bob Seger, Aretha Franklin and Jeff Daniels.
So he's a good thing for Michigan, OK?
But a beer? I don't know about you, but when I see a food or beverage with a celebrity's name on it, I can't help but associate the product with the characteristics of the person.
For instance, let's say baseball star Alex Rodriguez, who is in the news a lot lately, came out with a chocolate bar. Wouldn't you think "steroids," even though you know it contains nothing but chocolate, nuts and nougat? Who's going to want to eat that, other than, say, the entire baseball team at your local high school?
Or Kid Rock's former girlfriend Pamela Anderson. If she came out with a beer, wouldn't you expect it to be full-bodied? (Ahahahahahaha!)
You see what I mean. It's a mental image thing, I guess.
Kid Rock has many fine qualities. But I've seen him perform. He wears wife-beater undershirts and seems to sweat a lot, and his long hair (while cool!) gets all stringy and greasy-looking and ...
Well, that mental image doesn't make me think beer. It makes me think towel. Possibly shampoo.
There you go: Kid Rock shampoo and conditioner.
Get you some.
[
blog.mlive.com]