.....that's the best tip yet....screw that whole dope stashing, earring wearing, ash tray making, clothes drying, shoe shining, dust bunny corraling, pill popping thing........when you can save a life nothing else really matters does it?........FrankM, I'm putting you on my Christmas card list this year

Just a Christmas card? No present? lol

......okay, maybe an ornamental carbon monoxide detector

Damn! Bought a carbon dioxide detector - how do I turn it off?

ha ha ha.....good one Toronto darling

SomeTorontoGirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Damn! Bought a carbon dioxide detector - how do I
> turn it off?

You are making us Libras look bad lol.

You want a household tip. Make sure the building your living in is earthquake proof. Just had a big shaker out here. HOLY SHIT!

"It's just some friends of mine and they're busting down the door"

sweetcharmedlife Wrote: You want a household tip. Make sure the building your living in is earthquake proof. Just had a big shaker out here. HOLY SHIT!

SCL - you want a Household Tip? Don't live in a household that tips! Silly Nemesis!!! (Perhaps a large outrigger...?)

EDIT: Whoops, that sounds like a big one! Be careful out there, and batten down your CD collection!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2007-10-31 05:46 by SomeTorontoGirl.

sweetcharmedlife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You want a household tip. Make sure the building
> your living in is earthquake proof. Just had a big
> shaker out here. HOLY SHIT!


yeah, 5.6 centered in East San Jose. we felt it pretty strong here in SF. Luckilly no damage or injuries. I was scared for a minute. Just a minute though.

-



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2007-12-31 06:09 by cirrhosis.

microfiber cleaning/dusting cloths keep CD cases and just about anything else quite tidy.

I'm thinking about writing a song called "Mother's Little Helper". Do you think the title works?

Keep plenty of beer on ice! Then you will have more room in the fridge to pre-cool lots more beer. Always play Stones cds at "4" or louder! Cheers!

when vacuuming the tongue that is carved in your carpet it is best to glue all the pieces down first. I didn't and lived to regret it.

As always my Georgia Dawg-loving friend, 5-string, comes through with some great advice! HBTD?

"No Anchovies, Please"

When washing your concert t's or IORR t , turn them inside out . This creates less friction to the designs and they'll last longer

HBTD indeed, Elmo! Let's go dance in the end-zone! Cheers!

A household tip when entertaining....

Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.

After a social gathering don't persaude your guests that surfing IORR is a great idea and debate whether RW is better than MT?????

glue rice crispies to the soles of your work shoes and tyres on your car - so that when you go to work in the morning, it sounds like you are "walking to your car and driving off" on a posh pea-gravel drive...

even if you live in a slum, this is effective, especially if your car window has been smashed - you can hear the "popping" all the louder..


Dog

My tip-Don't join the RS fan club, you'll get better seats elsewhere without the $100 charge.!

baking soda, lemon juice warm water salt and vinegar will clean absolutely anything in the right combinations.

OLDKR

DOG OWNERS Never lose your remote control again. Simply sellotape it to the back of your dog, and hey presto! Whistle, and the device is at your beck and call! This can also apply to cold beers, after intense training.

SMOKERS. Take a tip from tumble dryer users. Enjoy a crafty fag at your desk by attaching a flexible vent hose to your face and running it out of the office window.

PARENTS. When people ask how old your child is, they want to know how old he is at the moment. The phrase 'he/she will be five next birthday' involves some tricky calculations and is not very useful

MOURNERS. Read the dress code instructions on funeral invitations very carefully. Sombre, whilst being only 2 letters away from sombrero, is a world apart in tone

HOMEOWNERS. When selling your house, replace your furniture with children's tables and chairs, and use a dwarf estate agent. Instantly, your house will seem more roomy than it actually is.

GENTLEMEN. Avoid any unnecessary scrotal surgery by removing any genital piercings before using the 'Black Hole' water flume at Butlins, Bognor Regis.

ITALIAN waiters. Ensure a warm welcome for your customers by having a good 5-second stare at their wives' tits upon entry, and then another good stare after they have been seated

FLATMATES. Take a picture of yourself naked and looking surprised and pin it on your bathroom door. That way if anyone bursts in on you they won't get a shocking surprise.

ESTATE agents. Please look up the words luxurious, stunning and spacious in a dictionary so as I don't have to spend my weekends being shown around badly-built shoeboxes

DIETERS. Buy only Russian Alphabetti Spaghetti as there are only 22 letters in the Cyrillic alphabet. Just watch the pounds fall off.

EXPERIENCE the thrills of a skiing holiday without the expense. Simply sellotape two planks of wood to your feet, sit in your freezer for three hours, then run into a tree as fast as you can

PARENTS Each week count the contents of your cutlery drawer. This way you can quickly identify if any spoons or knives have gone missing that could potentially be used to administer illegal drugs or commit violent crime

CONVINCE your friends that you play the trombone by standing behind a screen and farting into a watering can.

OLD BIDDIES. Easter is not going to be early or late next year. So that will save you one crappy conversation

here's one straight from Mick Jagger, who knows what he's talking about:
"try not to resort to physical violence with Keith. it really doesn't get you anywhere." :E



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2007-10-31 21:08 by with sssoul.

Gazza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> GENTLEMEN. Avoid any unnecessary scrotal surgery
> by removing any genital piercings before using the
> 'Black Hole' water flume at Butlins, Bognor
> Regis.


lmao....im getting an "Ali-G" style leotard thought coming into my head at the moment...stoppit!


Dog

Gazza, great post, but two things:

1. I've never heard of cellotape, is this only available in Ireland.

2. Invitations to a funeral??? Never heard of that either.

....and I keep getting amused when someone smokes a fag, then I remember it means a cigarette.

CindyC Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gazza, great post, but two things:
>
> 1. I've never heard of cellotape, is this only
> available in Ireland.
>
> 2. Invitations to a funeral??? Never heard of
> that either.


Just checked out the word Sellotape 497,000 hits on google and Cellotape only 73,400

__________________________

Drape your lamps with scarves and make sure the lighting is just right. Have a few packs of Marlboro Reds, Shepherd's Pie and hide the cheese. Then load in a case of vodka, a jug of Rebel Yell with all the appropriate mixers. Have an acoustic in the corner and an amp too. Keep the electrics hidden until he asks for one. This is a nice surprise. Take a few days off. He could be there any minute!

Gazza wrote:

Enjoy a crafty fag at your desk by attaching a flexible vent hose to your face and running it out of the office window.


Like Lukester, I'm hoping this means a cigarette. Not that it matters.

"No Anchovies, Please"

Instead of water, make your ice cubes with booze. That way they won't dilute your drink as they melt.