i just got this from a friend who found it somewhere....to me that was one the funniest things Ive ever read...although I dont really share any of that person's opinion....to me it's a good laugh

here you go:


Posted: 9/14/2005 by: Julie Huvaere

Dear Mick Jagger,

Your current Rolling Stones tour is called "A Bigger Bang”. Here’s hoping that’s a reference to your upcoming heart attack.

Mick Jagger, you are a whore. Yeah, I’m just going to say it. I don’t mean your typical street-walkin’, fifty-dollar-holler type of whore, either. I got suckered into one of your strategically planned surprise tricks like Mickey Rourke in a Taco Bell with an undercover cross-dressing cop.

Yep, I’m that stupid. My dumb ass paid to attend a Rolling Stones Concert. $160 a pop, no less.
Guess you can buy yourself some more collagen.

Ok, my dad paid, but nonetheless, that is my dad’s hard-earned money!

Good thing I was there with my dad; they were carding at the door. It seems there is a new "Under 40 is not allowed without parent" rule at your concerts. While I was part of the problem, as a 25-year old Daddy's Girl, I was surprised to see that a Stones concert has turned into a family affair. Although my Dad is only fifty, at this concert he could have been my date. Mick, you used to be cool. Now you have groupies on Medicare.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one of the biggest Stones fans that you will find outside of being born in the 50’s, 60’s, or 70’s. I sacrificed my popularity as a 13-year old by proclaiming my favorite song to be “Paint it Black” and not worshipping at the lowrider of N.W.A. I was god-damned stoked to see the Rolling Stones, to see you, Mick, in concert!

Jim Morrison would slap you right now. Because you are to blame for The Rolling Stones' sad, slow death from being “cool” to being “my pappy's music”.

First of all the concert began with your “new” songs. NEW songs? What the @#$%&?? There is absolutely no reason that anyone with over three decades of old songs needs to write any new ones. Seriously, it’s been done. Every time that you fancy yourself a rocker still, and vomit out a self-proclaimed “new classic”, you are canceling out an actual Stones classic.



Did you play "Ruby Tuesday"? No… but you played some “new”, awful shit that sounded like an old homeless man singing while he’s peeing off of a highway overpass.

Did I hear my favorite, "Under My Thumb"? Hell no, but you decided to cover a Motown song because you were in Detroit. Yeah, Mick, we’ve never heard that before. You also covered some Ray Charles. Even Ray Charles would be @#$%& sick of Ray Charles right now. And Ray would have been damn glad he was blind instead of feasting his eyes on you, Mick Jagger, who more resembled a 40-year old anorexic hooker from Gary, Indiana, than a rock star.

Shoot, at this point, I have a better chance of hearing Jessica Simpson cover "Paint It Black" than to hear you actually perform it. I'm assuming you are in talks with that whore now.

Second of all; let’s face it Mick, you should have croaked years ago. You're just too senior citizen for the rock world.
Shoot, I thought Aerosmith was old. You make Steven Tyler look like Usher.

Seriously, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin had it right. Die early in the rock game, and you stay “cool”. Keep singing until you qualify for Social Security, Mick; not so “cool”.

"Not so cool" pretty much describes the attendees at your concert. I saw more spandexed FUPA in one night than Keith Richards has seen vials of coke.

My world looks a little different after I saw an identically-dressed mother-and-daughter dastardly duo getting simultaneously arrested for showing their tits. And they were just lovely tits at that. Thanks for that keeper, Mick!



If I am at a Pearl Jam concert wearing Doc Martens and a plaid baby-doll dress when I am 52, allow me to kick myself in the ass. Then I will apologize to you during your 2032 World Nursing Home Tour. And then I’m going to dig up Kurt Cobain and let him strangle Eddie Vedder.

Thanks for nothing. I want my dad's 160 dollars back, bitch,

Julie

Whether you find this funny or not -- and I did -- you have to admit there are some insightful comments in there.





-- Keep on rollin'. Keep on. Keep on. Keep on. --

Yes, I'm "offended" that I wasted my time reading this garbage.

Obnoxious adolescence.

Hilarious!

very amusing stuff. she gets my seal of approval

someone posted that on Rocks Off a few weeks ago

A someone pointed out there at the time, the irony of calling mick Jagger a 'whore' is obviously lost on someone who only went to the show because an older man paid for her ticket

why should anyone care what some incoherent, obnoxious, anonymous and insignificant whorebag writes on a blog site, anyway?

Hmmm...let's see they've played both PIB and Ruby Tuesday during this tour. A 25 year old who doesn't want to hear anything new? Wow...needs to get a life and expand her horizons.

Sure Mick didn't mind seeing those titties...and of course they were lovely. Stones always bring in the lovely women, well...with the exception of one sniveling lil "daddy's girl" who doesn't know shit from shinola!!!

Can't wait to give her a boot in the ass at that Pearl Jam concert per her request!

Youth is wasted on the young

I want to @#$%& this girl.

Hmmm......sounds like she and her dad have some issues...if she was my daughter her favorite song would not be paint it black and she would have been singing let it bleed at a early age!!!

Laugh, I nearly smirked.

Leonard Keringer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Youth is wasted on the young


LOL!

You are a very wise man Leonard.

Karl

KSIE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Leonard Keringer Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Youth is wasted on the young
>
>
> LOL!
>
> You are a very wise man Leonard.
>
> Karl


cliches hit the mark every time Karl....best wishes

Reptile Wrote:
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> I want to @#$%& this girl.


by the sound of her, I wouldnt in a million years. Not even with yours, Reptile..

Mick sounds like a old homeless man peeing off a highway overpass? I thought
his voice sounded familier...

Gazza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Reptile Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I want to @#$%& this girl.
>
>
> by the sound of her, I wouldnt in a million years.
> Not even with yours, Reptile..

No. But it's my duty as a citizen of this world. This chick needs a good banging, and I doubt even that could save her.

What's FUPA?

Valeswood nails it.

A rant is a very hard comedic bit to pull off, and this girl faceplants in her attempt, unless she's writing for her highschool paper. But at 25 she's a bit old for that.

James, in case you're wondering, I give her a 1.22 on a scale of 1-10 for her rant.

She needs another semester or three at the Lewis Black school of comedy before she's allowed to post another blog entry.

Offensive? Only so far as she's not funny, and that's a crime.

"by the sound of her, I wouldnt in a million years. Not even with yours, Reptile."



i'll volunteer mine for the job if needs be then ;o)

she seems like a girl with a good sense of humour. she'd appreciate me

she'd need to have a good sense of humour to 'do' you, andy..lol

Maybe she should go get mellow to the crappy stylings of Radiohead and shut the fvck up

Gazza Wrote:
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> she'd need to have a good sense of humour to 'do'
> you, andy..lol


exactly!

i always try and get the sympathy vote if i can )

tell her to come talk to me when she's fifty - she'll be singing a much different tune - Rock on Mick!