I got talking to a guy the other day that had the best concert croud funny story I had heard. It caught all the elements of a the good old stadium festival seating fiasco and it happened at a Stones show.

Seattle, 1981, first show (girl falls off walkway and dies night). They open the doors early so folks can trickle in. So our story teller gets there early with his party friends and they stake out a front area and start partying..for hours. A similar group of freinds has secured the front area next to them and the way he tells it they are going over the top drinking. Well one of the the other group looses his cookies real bad and cookies end up covering a rather large area of the floor close to stage. At this point the classic squeezing on the floor has not quite developoed yet and the contaminated area is vacated with folks starting to form tightly around the mess.

This is were it starts to twig my festival seating funny bone. If you have been there or played the game you know what I mean. You say to yourself I'm going to get up front no matter what. A guy moves a shoulder you take the space, you step on toes, you grope young girls (older ones at Stones shows) and you are heading for this imaginary spot up front. So picture the floor full of folks with this mindset. Now the story teller said it became quite the game, looking back into the croud and spotting folks that spotted what appears to be an unexplained open space near the stage and them making the fight through the croud to occupy that space.

Now picture what would happen to someone squeezed into a sardine can and suddenly reaching the edge...you get spit out. Well this guy said his gang got laughs all night following these pushing heads through the croud waiting till they reached the edge of the mess and were simply spit right into it by the pressure and he said the first thing they all did was slip and fall right in it. Does this not have all the classic elements of festival seating and partying.

Tell me there are more classic funnies like this.


I have one quick one that is more a matter of the shear odds it could happen. Rod Stewarts opening night of first tour without Faces. Before the show a Frizzbie is making it's way through the arena and the croud watches it moving around. It sails out of the upper deck and hits a girl stading midfloor behind the sound board right in the left ear, a few moans of sympathy come from the croud. Her boy freind pissed at his girl getting hit and the public attention picks up the disc and sends it up into the upper deck on the other side of the arena. Immediatly it sails out of the upper deck and hits the same girl on the right ear. The croud screams in disbelief, the guy and girl just walk away her holding her ears. 16,000 people, three throws, two ears, one head.

Oh my god this is the funniest thing I have ever heard. It is about as funny as watching paint dry. As for your "you grope young girls ..." comment, you are a sick person.

you are pretty weird.

oh i almost forogt you are a moron who cant spell the word "crowd."

C R O U D ???????????????????/

ha ha ha
dummy

young girls?????????

I hope you're older than 50, or else!!

Still, that's pretty weird.

What's the problem - it IS amusing.

Yeah, it is funny

Things are only funny if you understand them. Obviously never fought your way to the front of 65,000 folks or you would understand my 'jest' (that means joke) about the grope, sometimes you touch stuff in an ocean of folks you can't even identify...is that clearer, less perverted. Take in 35 years of classic concerts from clubs to stadiums, and all the croud stuff that goes with it and get back to me, you may have a funny story to contribute. I will apologize (Canadians use 'z's) if some did not find the focas of the story, the spilt cookies (that's puke) amusing, it was more the fun of some of those pushy types getting their's. I'm doing my bathroom, can you tell me were to get some of that funny paint, if it's as good as that guy's story it should make thejob more fun....sorry you probably did not get that either.

I will wear the 'weird' comment as a compliment however.

Spelling? Spelling? I'm on an international site, full of a diverse cross section of humanity struggling to communicate their love of the Stones and I did not take the time to spell check a quick post....shoot me, pretty low threshold for a moron status. Too bad spelling is not part of an IQ test it might blow my Mensa status.

Now that the kindergarten 'crowd' has waded in.....back to the topic at hand, does anybody have any funny stories.

i saw guys peeing in their cups at soldier field and emptying them through the holes in the field floor. must have been a smelly bears game the next week!

Great stories man. I gotta say the girl getting decked in the head twice is absolutely killer.

also some guy in a green suit got knived in front of the stage after he pulled out a gun. I saw it against the girls crocheted dress. oh, wait that was gimmie shelter! never mind.