The end of the year means lists, and I propose one for worst popular song ever. A few years ago, a radio personality whose name escapes me devoted his entire show to the topic. His approach was that there was actually an objective answer to this question - it was not a matter of opinion. People called in for hours with their guesses. Finally someone guessed "right": "Porcupine Pie" by Neil Diamond. The DJ said "so many decisions go into writing a song, and Diamond managed to make all the wrong ones". It was the funniest thing on radio I have ever heard.

So I pose the query: What is your nomination for worst popular recording ever? Is it "Seasons In The Sun" by Terry Jacks, "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro? or something else? To keep it fair, it must be a real song that was released and made the charts, not something your cousin Phil did in Junior High School.

Let the fun begin!

Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie
Vanilla Soup, a double scoop please
No, maybe I won't, maybe I won't, maybe I will
The tutti fruit with fruity blue cheese

Ah, but Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie
Don't let it get on your jeans
And though it sounds a little strange
Well, you gotta eat it with gloves
Or your hands will turn green

Ah, but porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie,
It weaves its way through my dreams,
And I do believe I'm gonna have one and
Leave enough room for dessert, chicken ripple ice cream.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009-12-28 06:30 by 71Tele.

JEFFERSON STARSHIP "WE BUILT THIS CITY"

Elenor Rigby and Got To Get You Into My Life.....When I Hear These Songs I Want To Take A Bath With My Toaster!!!


SOULSURVIVOR

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ChefGuevara
JEFFERSON STARSHIP "WE BUILT THIS CITY"

That's a very good (meaning bad) one...One of the most pompous and overblown pieces of dreck ever foisted upon the record-buying public. Doesn't that have "knee deep in the hooplah" in the lyrics?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009-12-28 13:12 by 71Tele.

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soulsurvivor1
Elenor Rigby and Got To Get You Into My Life.....When I Hear These Songs I Want To Take A Bath With My Toaster!!!


SOULSURVIVOR

Funny, I love the Beatles, but "Got To Get You Into My Life" is in my opinion, a rare miss on their part. A forced soul rave-up by Paul...But seriously, can anything the Beatles recorded really be in the category of "worst song ever". That's pretty damning company.

Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

It's the very definition of what is wrong with popular music these days.

Hotel California is my take-a-bath-with-the-toaster song.

Proud Mary

Dreadlock Holiday

Rough Boy ZZtop has to be there or close

I have to throw "The Joker" by Steve Miller into the ring for contention. "Some people call me Maurice. 'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love." Huh?

And perhaps the single worst verse ever composed in rock history:

You're the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey dovey, lovey dovey, lovey dovey all the time
Ooh wee baby, I sure show you a good time


Lovey dovey indeed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009-12-28 07:21 by 71Tele.

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swiss
Hotel California is my take-a-bath-with-the-toaster song.

yep.

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71Tele
I have to throw "The Joker" by Steve Miller into the ring for contention. "Some people call me Maurice. 'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love." Huh?

And perhaps the single worst verse ever composed in rock history:

You're the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey dovey, lovey dovey, lovey dovey all the time
Ooh wee baby, I sure show you a good time

Lovey dovey indeed.

Surely no worse than "The moon is yellow/but I'm like Jello/Staring down your t*ts" or any of several other non-gems that Jagger trotted out on the last studio album.

Anyway, how's about DOA by Bloodrock or the perennial stinker MacArthur Park by Jimmy Webb -- look up the recipe online, Bozo!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009-12-28 07:35 by baxlap.

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baxlap

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71Tele
I have to throw "The Joker" by Steve Miller into the ring for contention. "Some people call me Maurice. 'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love." Huh?

And perhaps the single worst verse ever composed in rock history:

You're the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey dovey, lovey dovey, lovey dovey all the time
Ooh wee baby, I sure show you a good time

Lovey dovey indeed.

Surely no worse than "The moon is yellow/but I'm like Jello/Staring down your t*ts" or any of several other non-gems that Jagger trotted out on the last studio album.

Anyway, how's about DOA by Bloodrock or the perennial stinker MacArthur Park by Jimmy Webb -- look up the recipe online, Bozo!

I was hoping to keep Sir Mick out of this, but you do have a point...But MacArthur Park is so bad it's good.

infamy. that's it.

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71Tele

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ChefGuevara
JEFFERSON STARSHIP "WE BUILT THIS CITY"

That's a very good (meaning bad) one...One of the most pompous and overblown pieces of dreck ever foisted upon the record-buying public. Doesn't that have "caught up in the hooplah" in the lyrics? Marty Balin should be serving a life sentence for this one.

Sorry, guys and gals, but We Built This City has nothing to do
with Marty Balin. He wasn't in the band at the time.
However, Bernie Taupin did have a hand in the lyrics.
I remember when the song was out, nobody seemed to be saying it was
a terrible song/record. I think it was only when people started doing
those VH1 "name the worst song" that it started to appear.
Then again if Springsteen wrote it, it'd be the best song ever.

I dont like anything with Coldplay. I deeply respect that others like them and thats fine by me but I just cant see their greatness. Same with Deftones.

Serious contender: The Final Countdown by Europe.

We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall
Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so

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ROLLINGSTONE
Serious contender: The Final Countdown by Europe.

We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall
Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so

That song is one of the reasons im sometimes ashamed of being swedish

She's Having My Baby - Paul Anka

"Emotional Rescue" by ah, hm, Stolling Rones or so ...

Back to Zero

Eiffel 65 - Blue, da ba di
followed closely by
Daddy Dj - Daddy Dj

Pure medieval torture for your ear canals.

-TomR

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71Tele

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ChefGuevara
JEFFERSON STARSHIP "WE BUILT THIS CITY"

That's a very good (meaning bad) one...One of the most pompous and overblown pieces of dreck ever foisted upon the record-buying public. Doesn't that have "caught up in the hooplah" in the lyrics? Marty Balin should be serving a life sentence for this one.

Great example of how a once great band can fall so low into the pit of commercialism. Big time sell out.

<< Sorry, guys and gals, but We Built This City has nothing to do
with Marty Balin. He wasn't in the band at the time.
However, Bernie Taupin did have a hand in the lyrics.
I remember when the song was out, nobody seemed to be saying it was
a terrible song/record. I think it was only when people started doing
those VH1 "name the worst song" that it started to appear.
Then again if Springsteen wrote it, it'd be the best song ever. >>

Oh, no. I clearly remember when it came out, and being amazed at how bombastic and horrible it was at the time. I didn't need VH1 to tell me...and Bruce would never write anything this bad.

meat loaf - i would do anything for love!

"Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsIIIIDes"

"Im just another writer, still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter, still trapped within my youth"..

"...but then the passion flares agaIIIn"

I went and looked up the words. They are sublime in their badness.

"Stand" by REM. I think that song more than any song I loathe. The other ones like "Sometimes when we touch", or "Kokomo" or the "Pina Colada Song" I can almost laugh about. But "Stand" I hate.

crocodile rock by elton john

What about the exchangeable Power ballads by Aerosmith? "Cryin-Angel-Amazing-Crazy"?