Half a bee, philosophically
Must ipso facto half not a bee
But half a bee has got to be
Vis avis it's entity
D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee
Due to some ancient injury?

SINGING

La di di one two three
Eric the half a bee
A B C D E F G
Eric the half a bee

Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?

NO, It,s Eric the half a bee

Jagger50, much too early to be drunk....

MicksBrain Wrote:
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> Jagger50, much too early to be drunk....


I'm not. The good stuff will come later.

I certainly hope that this has nothing to do with me.

Erik_Snow Wrote:
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> I certainly hope that this has nothing to do with
> me.


Not at all. It's about my mate Eric the half a bee.

Ok. Gently put down the crack pipe. Now move back from your computer screen. Now call a rehab center. Ask for immediate help.

Reptile, I'm not sure about the crack, to me it seems a bit more like Meth and bad acid....Alot of Brandy on the side....

I think jagger 50 is Jim Ignatowski from taxi.

Oh I was thinkin' Travis Bickle from TAXI DRIVER...

or leonard from FullMetal Jacket

Anyone heard of Monty Python?

i don't think it's drugs or drink, but a light fit of euphoric mania. let's wait til "the good stuff" gets printed before we worry.

Before or AFTER he blows his head off? I know, It's a hard one to judge....SO CLOSE

jagger50 Wrote:
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> Anyone heard of Monty Python?


No, where do you come from, Ulaan Batoor?

I know a song about Ulaan Batoor.

Yeah, The Full Monty....what was that? 7 years ago?

What?

The Movie about the blokes that become strippers - right?

I don't know if you're teasing me but yes. I'm on about the English comedy team MONTY PYTHON.You know. The Lumberjack song and spam.

It's quite tonight. Am I the only one in on a Saturday night.?

Because if I am I'm gonna play.

Jagger50 - clearly the Monty-less masses are culturally challenged.

Do you remember the full script to the song about"Philosophy"......?

including the lines, "Aristotle, Aristotle, was a bugger for the bottle"

and "I drink, therefore I am"!

Yeah, I'm joking around, I know, Monty Python....

The Philosopher's Song.


Immanuel Kant was a real piis-ant who was very rarely stable
Heideggar, Heidegar was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as shloshed as Schlegel
There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after a pint of shanty was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey everyday
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
And Hobbes was fond of his Dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am"
Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pist.

DEAD PARROT


Ello, I wish to register a complaint

Ello miss

What do you mean Miss?

Sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint

We're closing for lunch

Never mind about that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique

Oh yes the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it my lad. E's dead, that's what's wrong with it

No no, eh's resting

Look matey I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now

No No he's not dead, he's resting. Remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage

The plumage don't come into it. He's stone dead

No No No he's resting

All right then if he's restin I'll wake him up. ELLO MISTER POLLY PARROT! I GOT A LOVELY FRESH CUTTLE FISH FOR YOU

There he moved

No he didn't that was you hitting the cage

I never

Yes you did

I never never did anything

ELLO POLLY!TESTING TESTING TESTING This is your 9 o'clock alarm call

That's what I call a dead parrot

No No he's stunned Norwegian Blues stun easily

Look mate I've had enough of this.That parrot is definately deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour ago you assured me that it's total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long sqwauk

Well he's probably pining for the fjords

PINING FOR THE FJORDS!!!!!! What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back when I got home?

The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back. Remarkable bird. Lovely plumage.

Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on it's perch was that it had been nailed there

Well of course it was nailed there. If I hadn't nailed down that bird, it would have nuzzled up to those bars and bent them apart with his beak and VOOM

VOOM Mate, this bird wouldn't go VOOM if you put forty million volts through it

No No He's pining

He's not pining. He's passed on. This parrot is no more.He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet it's maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed him to his perch he'd be pushing up the daises.It's metabolic processes are now history. He's off the twig. He's kicked the bucket. Shuffled off it's mortal coil. Run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. THIS IS AN EX PARROT.

Thanks Jagger50,

Just in time for a presentation to a philosophy class.

(I am sick as a proverbial of the proverbial sketch).

Make it 'Stones-related', start a thread entitled "Luxury"!

Maybe not - depends too much on nuance of 'northern' accent.