THE European Commission has called for shocking close-up pictures of Keith Richards face to be used on cigarette packets in all EU countries.

Unlike the written health warnings already used across the continent, the pictures need not be made compulsory throughout the EU.

“Governments have the right not to force cigarette companies to use them. We realise these images are quite disturbing and may not be acceptable in some of the more squeamish countries like Switzerland and Belgium.” said chairman of the commission James Nesquik.

Fresh looking young people with flawless skin are being particularly targeted in the campaign. One series of pictures even shows a very ill Richards hocking up some phlegm and graphically posing with it on the end of his wrinkled tongue.

A caption saying: ‘Go on, give us a kiss’ will run across the bottom of the pack.

Chairman Nesquik stated that ‘People need to be shocked out of their complacency about smoking. I think there is nothing more frightening than seeing that poor mans smoke torn face. Its actually horrifying.’

Keith Richards face has been a familiar sight in similar anti-drugs campaigns in central Asia. Indian research into the value of such illustrations revealed they convinced 67pc more drug users to give up using.

Mohammad Petal, chairman of the campaign in India, said: “This was the most successful drug campaign we have ever seen in India. Not only did people give up, 34pc of them took up regular exercise and joined some kind of religion.”

“The pictures have a profound effect on people.”

According to experts, Keith Richards face has over 300,000 wrinkles. Most of which were caused by chain smoking. It is believed at least 20 grams of cocaine can be stored in Richards face at any one time.

The Keith Richards warning pictures are due to hit the hidden tobacco shelves in July 2014.

"...According to experts, Keith Richards face has over 300,000 wrinkles. Most of which were caused by chain smoking. It is believed at least 20 grams of cocaine can be stored in Richards face at any one time..."

Funny!

><The man is so cool, it might.me take up.smoking instead

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desertblues68
><The man is so cool, it might.me take up.smoking instead

I was thinking along the same lines... Surely that would encourage some people to take up smoking!

Btw, I still can't quite believe it but I have finally sort of given up! Took up e-cigarettes one month ago and haven't had a normal cig since. Real progress for me.

Looks to me to be satire, hence the link to the story:

[waterfordwhispersnews.com]

I don't want to spoil anyone's fun though. Just reading the story, it almost looks real.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014-05-17 17:16 by BroomWagon.

why are you wasting our time?!

They cannot use his face without permission. A lawsuit would be on their doorstep!

He makes wrinkles look cool.

Awesome! Now the back of the pack needs to show Keith on his bike in the Tour de France!

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IrisC
They cannot use his face without permission. A lawsuit would be on their doorstep!

Nah, Keef is Public Domain, he belongs to all of us!


"As we say in England, it can get a bit trainspottery"

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

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GasLightStreet
Awesome! Now the back of the pack needs to show Keith on his bike in the Tour de France!

Well lookie here !! Two former substance abusers riding bikes...

I thought aging causes wrinkles. And in some cases death.

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Chris Fountain
I thought aging causes wrinkles. And in some cases death.

That's just what they want you to believe.

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MingSubu

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Chris Fountain
I thought aging causes wrinkles. And in some cases death.

That's just what they want you to believe.

yeah, I know what you mean. It accelerates the aging process. Myself, I'd rather keep my white teeth.

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Chris Fountain

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MingSubu

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Chris Fountain
I thought aging causes wrinkles. And in some cases death.

That's just what they want you to believe.

yeah, I know what you mean. It accelerates the aging process. Myself, I'd rather keep my white teeth.

I was just joking about aging causing wrinkles and death.

Non-smoker here too, but have no problems with others smoking.

I never smoked but never been intolerant regarding smokers. Watching keith's pic i could consider to start smoking, maybe 4/5 per day

If Keith was going to lend his image to be anti-anything, I would have guessed Cheese...

This should've been posted in the 'Ron Wood's Greatest Solo's' thread

Many give up ciggies by the time they reach 70. But not Keith! I am amazed when I see these tough old birds (75years plus women) still dragging on those cancer sticks. E-cigs should not be banned in public places like some hack politicians try to do. They are a great thing for weaning off the cigs or cutting way back at least. I'll have a good laugh when I see Ronnie and Keith with e-cigs on stage

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Nate
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

Don't think so pal.

Don't generalise and get a life.

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odean73

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Nate
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

Don't think so pal.

Don't generalise and get a life.

SOME ALSO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOUR

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Nate

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odean73

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Nate
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

Don't think so pal.

Don't generalise and get a life.

SOME ALSO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Yeah tell me about it.

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odean73

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Nate

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odean73

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Nate
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

Don't think so pal.

Don't generalise and get a life.

SOME ALSO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Yeah tell me about it.

I do apologise, I have just read it in the context and see where you are coming from.

Too much wine and a good sunny day.

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MarthaTuesday

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desertblues68
><The man is so cool, it might.me take up.smoking instead

I was thinking along the same lines... Surely that would encourage some people to take up smoking!

Reminds me of my high school buddy who kept quoting the Mickey Rourke film BARFLY (before I'd seen it). I said, "Don't the alcoholic characters make it a miserable film?" My friend said, "It kind of makes you want to be an alcoholic." When I rented the film I still didn't get what my friend meant, although I quite liked the film.

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odean73

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odean73

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Nate

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odean73

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Nate
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

Don't think so pal.

Don't generalise and get a life.

SOME ALSO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Yeah tell me about it.

I do apologise, I have just read it in the context and see where you are coming from.

Too much wine and a good sunny day.

Hey no problem I was just having a laugh.
Have a great summer and enjoy the shows if your going.

Nate

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michaelsavage
why are you wasting our time?!

Yes, because you were otherwise accomplishing so much here on IORR.

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steffiestones


THE European Commission has called for shocking close-up pictures of Keith Richards face to be used on cigarette packets in all EU countries.

The Keith Richards warning pictures are due to hit the hidden tobacco shelves in July 2014.

I guess that's the only royal we'll ever see Keith next to......

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Nate

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odean73

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odean73

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Nate

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odean73

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Nate
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...NON SMOKERS LIVE A LONGER MORE BORING LIFE.

Don't think so pal.

Don't generalise and get a life.

SOME ALSO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Yeah tell me about it.

I do apologise, I have just read it in the context and see where you are coming from.

Too much wine and a good sunny day.

Hey no problem I was just having a laugh.
Have a great summer and enjoy the shows if your going.

Nate

Cheers, you too.

Going to the Paris show.