I have a giant Birthday box here - all ready for the "Birthday Boy" with NO ADDRESS !!!
Contents:
1. AARP Card - Laminated, 50% discount at all RED LOBSTER Restaurants and AMC Movie theaters (one time only) 2. Economy 3 Pack of Deluxe Adult Size Diapers (Standard Beige) 3. Leon Russell CD Box Set 1998 - 2008 "Unfinished Tunes and Chunks of Food Stuck in the Flowing Gray Beard of a Genius - Outtakes and Alternative Versions" 4. Big Jar of 500 VIAGRA tablets - Extra Strength 5. Subscription to GGMILF - (Great Grand MILF) 2 Years/10 issues a year 6. Wheel Chair tire repair kit 7. Free Chest X-ray and latex gloved 2 finger Prostate exam by a MD student - (senior year) 8. Bobby Vinton sings Pat Boone DVD Live from BRANSON, MISSOURI 9. Weekend Woodstock tour package for 2 (provided by aslecs). See where this great festival was held in upstate NY. Includes stops at different points on the border of the muddy field. See a scratchy Super 8 film of Jimi Hendrix doing part one of the STAR SPANGLED BANNER and RICHIE HAVENS tuning up backstage. Includes "Woodstock Style" lunch with "brown acid" (cubes of raw brown sugar for your decaf) and BBQ hamburgers undercooked in the style of the food stands at the real festival. Barf bag included.... 10. Psychodelic Colostomy Bag (with "Purple Peace Sign and Yellow/Green Flowers" - black light not included)
So LUKESTER, Sounds Damn good if you ask me........ uh, so like, where do I send all this stuff??
Wow, you guys are awesome........and funny. The GGMILF subscription is hilarious Skelter. And am I really in a club now with Michael Jackson and Madonna? Yuck. And yes Elmo, I think you did mention sex. Thanks for the McCain sign Sicilian, and for the confetti sssoul baby. And thanks to all of you, I'm honored by your presence. And thanks especially to Sweet Charmer for remembering, and I'm sorry I wasn't clever enough to do anything special for you birthday.
50 may sound pretty old, but I still feel young. Still it's quite a milestone, so I started the day by driving 2 hours to visit my 92 year old Dad who now lives in a nursing home. I thanked him (and Mom) for bringing me into the world. Then I returned home for a late lunch with my two daughters. Then I went out late last night to see some music. It was a band called TR3, fronted by Tim Reynolds of Dave Matthews Band fame. I wish I could say the music was great, but it wasn't. So I got drunk and met a lady who was also celebrating her birthday, and yada, yada, yada, well....I woke up alone.