So here's one I heard the other day:

Mick Jagger and Boy George are on the Titanic. It starts sinking, and the captain yells “Women and Children first!” Boy George says, “@#$%& the women, I'm getting on a life boat!”. Mick says “Do we have time?”

A joke from Neil HAmburger


Why do Mick and Keith request salt water taffy in their backstage rider?

- To fill the holes in their soul

Here's an old one:

What's the difference between Bono and Mick Jagger?
- Bono is trying to throw his arms around the world and Mick Jagger is trying to throw his legs around the world.

Well this is a Keith-joke, but I still think it's a little funny:

Do you know Keith Richards' definition of health food?

It's pouring orange juice into your vodka...


(No, not funny?)

I know a rude/sick Bill Wyman one....

Tralala Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well this is a Keith-joke, but I still think it's
> a little funny:
>
> Do you know Keith Richards' definition of health
> food?
>
> It's pouring orange juice into your vodka...
>
>I thought it was the other way around...

 
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He see's from her badge that her name is Patricia Whack. " Miss Whack " says the frog, " I'd like to get a £30,000.00 loan to take a holiday."
 
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his father is Mick Jagger, and that's it's okay because he knows the bank manager. Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some kind of collateral. The frog says " No problem, I have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his father is Mick Jagger, and that's it's okay because he knows the bank manager. Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some kind of collateral. The frog says " No problem, I have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
 
Pattie's confused and explains that she will have to consult with the bank manager and promptly disappears into the back office.
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his father is Mick Jagger, and that's it's okay because he knows the bank manager. Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some kind of collateral. The frog says " No problem, I have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
 
She finds the manager and explains "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000.00 using this as collateral" She hold up the tiny pink elephant " I mean, what in the world is this"
Pattie's confused and explains that she will have to consult with the bank manager and promptly disappears into the back office.
 
(you're gonna love this)
She finds the manager and explains "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000.00 using this as collateral" She hold up the tiny pink elephant " I mean, what in the world is this"
She finds the manager and explains "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000.00 using this as collateral" She hold up the tiny pink elephant " I mean, what in the world is this"
 
 
( it's a real treat)
Pattie's confused and explains that she will have to consult with the bank manager and promptly disappears into the back office.
(you're gonna love this)
 
 
( a masterpiece)
She finds the manager and explains "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000.00 using this as collateral" She hold up the tiny pink elephant " I mean, what in the world is this"
 
 
(wait for it -- wait for it)
( it's a real treat)
 
 
 
The bank manager looks back at her with contempt and says .............
(you're gonna love this)
( a masterpiece)
(wait for it -- wait for it)
( it's a real treat)
The bank manager looks back at her with contempt and says .............
( a masterpiece)
(wait for it -- wait for it)
The bank manager looks back at her with contempt and says .............
 
" It's a knickknack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Damn, there goes my new year resolution about healthy living, back to the straight vodka...

> > Do you know Keith Richards' definition of
> health
> > food?
> >
> > It's pouring orange juice into your vodka...
> >
> >I thought it was the other way around...

An oldie but a goodie:

What's the difference between an Englishman and a Scotsman?

An Englishman says "Hey you, get off of my cloud," while a Scotsman says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."

What did the Beatles say when they saw the avalanche?

"Oh no! It's the Rolling Stones!"

Ever heard the Mick Jagger Chrostmas song?

"...on a sleigh ride together witchoo..."

neilly43 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know a rude/sick Bill Wyman one....


If it' doesn't include very young children, I wanna hear it...

It came out when Bill started dating Mandy Smith aged 13. The first part of the joke is: What have Bill Wyman and the tortoise got in common? If you want the punchline then ask! (its not too bad)

Go ahead, you've teased us this far.

come on, wanna hear it

OK you asked for it - "They both got there before the hair/hare" boom boom. Apologies in advance!

Not nice, but anyway...


The Rolling Stones aren't as young as they used to be.
Rumor has it that they're working on a new album called "Steel Wheelchairs"
Tracks include:
Hey! You! Get Offa My Barcalounger!
Let’s Take A Nap Together
I Can’t Get No Circulation
It’s Only Dulcolax but I Like It
Help Me Up!
Gimmie a Tax Shelter
Brown Splenda
19th Hip Replacement
Limpin' Jack Flash
You Can't Always Chew What You Want
She’s So Old
Nursing Home Women

Help Me Up!

You Can't Always Chew What You Want


She’s So Old

"The Rolling Stones aren't as young as they used to be."


laugh,laugh i'm nearly tied

Street of dove (i mean elders are usuaylly feeding them)

Sparks will die

Love was strong

No expectations

Where the boys went

Anybody seen my pills?

100 years ago

Can't you hear the music?

As Years go by...

["I can hear the Bullfrog calling me..."]

Hey! You! Get Offa My Lawn!

Going to A Rest Home

Quote
Jed Clever
So here's one I heard the other day:

Mick Jagger and Boy George are on the Titanic. It starts sinking, and the captain yells “Women and Children first!” Boy George says, “@#$%& the women, I'm getting on a life boat!”. Mick says “Do we have time?”

I'd never read any "Mick Jagger joke " -I even didn't know about that thread -
It seems so funny ,although I am sure I don't get everything

Here's a joke by Mick Jagger......

What do you say to a one legged woman ?

















Open your leg.........

Groundhog day Rolling Stones style. mick Jagger came out of his hole today and saw his shadow. That means 6 more weeks of no tour announcement.

If a crazed fan wacks the groundhog could we get a tour announcement then?

Quote
neilly43
OK you asked for it - "They both got there before the hair/hare" boom boom. Apologies in advance!

Oooooooohhhhhhhh you should be sorry! ><

Why did Mick Jagger cross the road? To get to the bank on the other side.

God, these jokes are reeeeeelly LAME! Not that I can come up with a better one...