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Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: lynn1 ()
Date: December 3, 2006 21:49

1. He lives in Weston, CT--can't get much more suburban than that.
2. He has redone teeth.
3. He is a weekend warrior of sorts--injury incurred during a work timeout (albeit jumping from a tree).
4. He is very conscience of giving back--concerts for blind people.
5. He lived through the 70's and has gone from drugs to exercise.
6. He's just happy to be alive with his beautiful family ("good to be here, good to be anywhere").
7. He attempts to bridge the gap with his neighbors and friends on the block (kept the band together)
8. He's trying to work to the age of 65 to "save" a bit more for retirement.
9. He has weird things going on with his hair.
10. He wears clothes that, at times, seem a little age inappropriate.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Mr Jimmy ()
Date: December 3, 2006 22:51

The words 'keith richards', and 'regular guy' do not go together at all...

_____________________________________________________

What's your favourite flavour?...........Cherry Red!!

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: windmelody ()
Date: December 3, 2006 23:08

Keith Richards is certainly not a regular guy!

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Rockman ()
Date: December 3, 2006 23:13

Yeah.....but who ever wanted to be a boring regular guy?



ROCKMAN

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Tralala ()
Date: December 3, 2006 23:45

...and before we know it, she'll say he's a republican. You obviously missed a few facts about him. He's not 65. He'll be 63 on December 18th. Calling him ordinary is the most extraordinary - and ridiculous - thing I've seen on this board. And we've seen a few strange posts here. Are you Sunnybandyo's mum, by any chance?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-12-04 00:13 by Tralala.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Date: December 3, 2006 23:55

in lynn's defense, i have always found it a bit disturbing that keef now resides in weston . . .

you can't catch me!

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: paulywaul ()
Date: December 3, 2006 23:56

Tralala Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Are you Sunnybandyo's mum, by any chance ?

Classic ! Post of the weekend.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: lynn1 ()
Date: December 4, 2006 00:09

I think 65 was a play on the "normal" retirement age. I tried to stay away from political satire as all the goblins came out last time as did the threat of banishment. Keith is not regular? Really? You guys get me EVERY time with the corrections. Again, thanks. Is there no one able to read through and detect just a little sarcasm? I'm just having fun, turning the normal upside down. Hair transplants anyone? What are we listening to? Beast of Burden 91 vs 98'? Is U2 a threat? Ticket prices high? "Cool out peeeeeeple"

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Date: December 4, 2006 00:11

lynn1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think 65 was a play on the "normal" retirement
> age. I tried to stay away from political satire
> as all the goblins came out last time as did the
> threat of banishment. Keith is not regular?
> Really? You guys get me EVERY time with the
> corrections. Again, thanks. Is there no one able
> to read through and detect just a little sarcasm?
> I'm just having fun, turning the normal upside
> down. Hair transplants anyone? What are we
> listening to? Beast of Burden 91 vs 98'? Is U2 a
> threat? Ticket prices high? "Cool out
> peeeeeeple"

thank you, lynn! i enjoy/enjoyed your posts - always good for a chuckle!

you can't catch me!

Re: Keith
Posted by: with sssoul ()
Date: December 4, 2006 00:26

>> He has weird things going on with his hair. <<

yeah, that one made me smile. :E

Keith normal ... "you're talking to a madman!"
good night now ...

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: barbequebob ()
Date: December 4, 2006 01:28

Here's a cute piece of satire speculating on what it is like to have Keith as a neighbor.

The website it came from also has photos, but my computer is blocking them and I am not computer-savy enough to quickly solve that, so hope you all can view this/find it on the web. Its good for a few laughs.

the link is

[blogcritics.org] or just Google, Keith Richards, Weson CT


Satire: Keith Richards’ Neighbors Glad To See Party-Crashing Menace Leave On Tour
Written by PoopyCaca
Published May 23, 2005
See also:
» A Long Memorial Day Weekend In Store For Michael Jackson Fans
» CD Review: Johnnie Taylor - Stax Profiles
» CD Review: Christopher O'Riley -- Home to Oblivion: An Elliott Smith Tribute


Hard-Living Rock Icon Ruffles Feathers in Tranquil Weston, Connecticut Community





Rolling Stones guitarist and rock icon Keith Richards is shown here
Last May after crashing a neighbor’s barbecue in Weston, Connecticut.

This article is part one of a PoopyCaca.com three-part series, "Behind the Skull," exploring the real Keith Richards.

When you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca.com is there.


Written by Dennis Haviland

WESTON, Conn. (PoopyCaca.com) — Having accused him of being a party crasher, pet abuser, and shape-shifting witch, Keith Richards’ neighbors in wealthy Weston are relieved to see the Rolling Stones’ guitarist head out on a long tour.

It’s been nearly a year since Richards crashed Harris and Sally Whiteburger’s Memorial Day barbecue, turning a pleasant day with friends and family into a near inferno that destroyed a 200-year-old barn and sent 12 guests and several pets to the hospital. Standing outside their 18th century farmhouse in the rolling green landscape of well-heeled Weston, the Whiteburgers described how Richards showed up playing electric guitar and calling everyone "Ronnie." After urinating on the side of the barn, Richards started a fire when ashes from his cigarette "accidentally" dropped on a gasoline can.

"As soon as I heard his guitar, my stomach just dropped, but I had no idea how bad things were going to get," said Harris Whiteburger, an attorney who works in Manhattan. "I was going to sue him, but some of the other neighbors told me I’d regret it if I did."

Several people in the Weston community, most of whom did not want to be identified, confirmed that Richards, the 62-year-old multimillionaire and former junkie, treats every neighborhood get-together, from birthdays to baby showers, like a Stones’ concert. Those who complain about it, however, invariably end up facing serious misfortune.

"It was my son’s 8th birthday last November and, just as we’re having cake, we hear this banging on the front door and that voice of his, ‘come on mates, I seen the balloons on the mailbox, let me in’," recalls Thad Coddington, who said Richards gave his son a knife for a present and then proceeded to play a five song set. "These little kids are sitting around playing with an 8-inch hunting knife and listening to Keith play ‘Little T & A’ and ‘Happy’."

After Coddington, the Whiteburgers, and several other neighbors secretly complained to police and the Weston Board of Selectmen, strange things began happening, everything from lawnmowers being stolen to dogs turning up with slickened fur and their tails shortened.




"Buster" Coddington was found this way after his owners complained about Keith Richards crashing their 8-year-old son's birthday party.

"He showed up at my door one morning looking for a snowblower. I lied and told him I didn’t have one," said Ward Bigsby, who said that when he woke up the next morning his snowblower and riding mower were gone and a big red tongue was painted on his bathroom wall. "I didn’t hear anything and all the doors were locked. He’s some kind of goddamned goblin!"

For his part, Richards says he’s just trying to fit in reasonably well and bide time between tours.

"Look, when Patti (Hansen) and I moved here, these cats came around trying to get me to play golf and join the historical society. You know that’s not gonna happen, man," says Richards, dangling a cigarette in one hand and showing off his famous skull ring on the other. "This is where I’m at. The rest of it is skin deep, and I can’t change who I am. I’m gonna walk before they make me run."



When you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca.com is there.

Joe Wilson is a comedian, writer, actor and private investigator based in Los Angeles.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: IgotDbluez ()
Date: December 4, 2006 01:33

barbequebob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
Standing outside their 18th
> century farmhouse in the rolling green landscape
> of well-heeled Weston, the Whiteburgers described
> how Richards showed up playing electric guitar and
> calling everyone "Ronnie." After urinating on the
> side of the barn, Richards started a fire when
> ashes from his cigarette "accidentally" dropped on
> a gasoline can.
>

That and the kid's birthday party was hilarious!

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: angee ()
Date: December 4, 2006 01:48

That article would tell us that Keith may be regular but he ain't no ordinary guy!! Even more interesting than we would suspect! Not your typical suburban dad, o no. Good find, bbbob!

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Leonard Keringer ()
Date: December 4, 2006 01:52

is the Pope an atheist?

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: little queenie ()
Date: December 4, 2006 02:24

The Notorious NIK Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> in lynn's defense, i have always found it a bit
> disturbing that keef now resides in weston . . .

but they've always had mansions here and there, in the country, etc. weston isn't much different.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: otonneau ()
Date: December 4, 2006 03:36

Leonard, I wouldn't be too surprised if he was!!
In fact I do also (seriously) think Keith must be pretty normalized by now. Mind you, I have broad standards for normality. But you know, drinking too much, taking pills, and having an erratic behaviour, that's just your average high-class behaviour. All sorts of dreadful things happen everywhere! That's, eventually... quite normal.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Elmo Lewis ()
Date: December 4, 2006 04:01

Father's little helpers?

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: norman ()
Date: December 4, 2006 07:31

While on tour not so long ago, workers found an ancient Roman wall in his basemant when remodeling; They contacted Keef to ask what they should do
with the wall. He told them to "FRAME IT". Says ALOT about the man.
He's a caring and wise human being; Ordinary with a vengance...I really respect him for it.
Read: Till I Roll Over Dead

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: oldkr ()
Date: December 4, 2006 08:15

he's actually a fairly normal guy, he spends most of the year in the islands but he's not as outlandish as he would have you think - he's a hardcore bookworm and he does his own gardening

OLDKR

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: timbernardis ()
Date: December 4, 2006 08:49

I would say that, if anyone in the band, that Mick is a regular suburban guy or comes closer to that than the others. After all, he accepted knighthood while Keith was apalled by the idea. Then again, I suppose most working class people would be HAPPY to accept a knighthood.

I have NEVER heard of Keith exercising, just remember the KEITH RICHARDS ATHLETIC CLUB t shirts (and I am STILL looking for one). Ok so you were just having fun, but thought I would say that anyway.


THE PLEXIGLASS ! ! !

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: erikjjf ()
Date: December 4, 2006 09:02


Re: Keith
Posted by: with sssoul ()
Date: December 4, 2006 09:14

smile: yeah, most regular suburban guys are knighted. :E

to me outlandish behaviour isn't required to make the Stones extraordinary - unless their creativity counts as outlandish.
whether or not they do their own gardening, these cats have lived utterly extraordinary lives since they were like 19 years old.
we can't even imagine it.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Spud ()
Date: December 4, 2006 09:58

Love that bike picture.

There's an old shocked expression of "...Jesus Christ on a bike !" which is used to indicate that something is unusual or difficult to believe.

"...Keith Richards on a bike !" would seem equally appropriate ;^)

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Green Lady ()
Date: December 4, 2006 11:11

I see the Sun is living up to its usual standards of accuracy. That bike picture has been around for months (since just after the Palm Tree) and was originally reported as being taken somewhere in Connecticut...

"In late July (1989) Keith took the pre-tour physical. 'The bugger stuck electrodes all over my body, hooked up more monitors to me than the Stones use on stage, and told me I was 'normal'. Fvck! Can you imagine telling Keith Richards he's NORMAL?'"

(from Christopher Sandford's biography)

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: soundcheck ()
Date: December 4, 2006 12:04

...... well, he's on his way ta jamaica now.............

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: paulywaul ()
Date: December 4, 2006 12:11

lynn1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think 65 was a play on the "normal" retirement
> age. I tried to stay away from political satire
> as all the goblins came out last time as did the
> threat of banishment. Keith is not regular?
> Really? You guys get me EVERY time with the
> corrections. Again, thanks. Is there no one able
> to read through and detect just a little sarcasm?
> I'm just having fun, turning the normal upside
> down. Hair transplants anyone? What are we
> listening to? Beast of Burden 91 vs 98'? Is U2 a
> threat? Ticket prices high? "Cool out
> peeeeeeple"

<<<<< I tried to stay away from political satire as all the goblins came out last time as did the threat of banishment >>>>>

A few of us DID try to warn you in all fairness. Half a dozen posts into that thread you initiated it was screamingly obvious where & how it was going to end. Surprised you couldn't have fingered that out for yourself.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: keefstheman ()
Date: December 4, 2006 13:38

Oh yeah...Keef is just a regular kinda suburban guy innint he...too funny

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: Beast ()
Date: December 4, 2006 13:39

Paradoxically, anything "regular" about Keith just adds to his irregularity.

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: lynn1 ()
Date: December 5, 2006 00:24

well said

Re: Is Keith Richards just a regular aging suburban guy?
Posted by: ohnonotyouagain ()
Date: December 5, 2006 03:17

This topic makes me think of that Joe Walsh song "Ordinary Average Guy." Is that Keith? Hmmm ... here's the lyrics:

I'm just an ordinary average guy
My friends are all boring
And so am I
We're just ordinary average guys

We all live ordinary average lives
With average kids
And average wives
We all go bowling at the bowling lanes
Drink a few beers
Bowl a few frames
We're just ordinary average guys
Ordinary average guys

And every Saturday we work in the yard
Pick up the dog doo
Hope that it's hard (ruff ruff)
Take out the garbage and clean out the garage
My friend's got a Chrysler
I've got a Dodge
We're just ordinary average guys
Ordinary average guys


I don't know, seems a little too ordinary and too average for Keith. More likely he's a model citizen, a la the Warren Zevon song.

Don't bring the milk in
Leave it on the porch
Don't read the papers
Don't mow the lawn no more
Drive to the market
At the break of dawn
Watch 'em unload the produce
Then ride right back home

It's the white man's burden
And it weighs a ton
I'm a family man
Model citizen

Torment the mailman
Terrorize the maid
Try to teach 'em some manners
Whip 'em into shape
Down in the basement
I've got a Craftsman lathe
Show it to the children
When they misbehave

It's the white man's burden
And it weighs a ton
I'm a family man
Model citizen

I'm a law-abiding man
I'm a good Samaritan
I pay my taxes when I can
Model citizen

In the cool of the evening
When the sun goes down
My wife's playing canasta
With everyone in town
When I feel the pressure
And I need a break
Load up the Winnebago
Drive it in the lake

It's the white man's burden
And it weighs a ton
I'm a family man
Model citizen


Yeah, I think that's more like it.

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