Why was the man happy at the cook-out?


He met the grill of his dreams!

Why did George Foreman put a steak on his head ???


He wanted ta be a griller



ROCKMAN

Rolling Stones Joke


What do you get when you are lodged between Dwayne Johnson and a Pig?


"Stuck between a Rock and a Lard Place"

Why was the broom late?


Because it over swept

What did the grumpy guy eat on his birthday?


Crab Cake!

Why was the ladder unlucky in love?

It was always stood-up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2020-08-13 18:58 by Chris Fountain.

Why did the Moose go to his family Reunion?

To see his Uncle and Auntlers

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?


If they flew over the bay they would be bagels.

Good One!

Bitter sweet this one .... Baby Seal Rescued with Bolt Cutter ...1000 likes in one day.... [www.youtube.com]

Hey those guys with the seal
did a kind thing ..... i really like that ....thanks Eddie



ROCKMAN

Quote
Rockman
Hey those guys with the seal
did a kind thing ..... i really like that ....thanks Eddie

No problem..............they do loads everyday on the same beach.......netting, fishing lines, packing straps.....horrendous but I can almost feel the relief when they set them free.............

Hope for paws in LA are an amazing crew too............ [www.youtube.com] ....not that I'd advocate the tutu and necklace......... .... Dumped in the desert.... [www.youtube.com] ...


One good story I heard was of two Russian guys who rescued a dog from an icy lake, they put it in the back of their car, when they got it to the vet they were told it was a wild wolf.............



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 2020-08-15 05:15 by EddieByword.

I pick up snails from foot paths
and put them back in the garden ....

Saves them hours in journey time ..... does that count as kind ????



ROCKMAN

Why did the Whale cross the Ocean?

To get to the other Tide.

Quote
Rockman
I pick up snails from foot paths
and put them back in the garden ....

Saves them hours in journey time ..... does that count as kind ????

Only if you do worms as well................

I played golf today, it was finally cool enough to play. Its been in the high 90's( 32 C) and with humidity, close to 100 (37C). I live outside of Washington, DC.

I was told that golf was invented in Scotland, and I was also told they invented the word F*CK.

That's my golf joke from across the pond, stay safe, wear your masks.

Quote
chris girard
I played golf today, it was finally cool enough to play. Its been in the high 90's( 32 C) and with humidity, close to 100 (37C). I live outside of Washington, DC.

I was told that golf was invented in Scotland, and I was also told they invented the word F*CK.

That's my golf joke from across the pond, stay safe, wear your masks.

.... on that subject of etymology, here's another, most villages, towns and cities in the UK named their redlight districts as Gropecunt St/road/lane/place until about 500 years ago....[en.wikipedia.org] .....mind you, the author Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300s use to use the word queynte in that context....



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 2020-08-15 03:12 by EddieByword.

Only if you do worms as well...............

Well Eddie I did start digging a compost hole
once and then I saw that Id chopped a worm in half ...

Hurt me so much that i had to down shovel but
then my brother told me not ta worry because they
grow another head ....

but hey I've avoided digging holes in dirt ever since ......



ROCKMAN

Why doesn't the Ginger Man have teeth?


Because of chronic gingervitus

Quote
Rockman
Only if you do worms as well...............

Well Eddie I did start digging a compost hole
once and then I saw that Id chopped a worm in half ...

Hurt me so much that i had to down shovel but
then my brother told me not ta worry because they
grow another head ....

but hey I've avoided digging holes in dirt ever since ......

You're a good man Rockman, you're a good man..............

I was going to say, you are a kind man Rockman, I appreciate it and so do all living things.

jb

What did the owl say to the therapist?


Whooo Whooo am I?

Why did the chicken cross Hollywood Boulevard?

He wanted to see Gregory Peck.

(Edited once ‘cause I told it wrong... )





Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2020-08-15 19:50 by SomeTorontoGirl.

New inmate in prison to a lifer...."Why is the psychotherapist's office in a cell?

"No, no, no, that says Psycho-the-rapist......................

Wonderful, it brought a smile to my face.

Why did the condom fly across the room?

He was pissed off.







Think about it.....

Police found a girl dead in a pizza shop
She was covered in ham...cheese and pineapple ....

Investigators said she may have topped herself.



ROCKMAN

I got a sext from a redhead:
I'm all alone. Come on over. Bring Protection.

So i took SPF50



ROCKMAN

I just bought a grand piano ......

It was $1000



ROCKMAN

Bet it was grand, too.

jb