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Of all of their tunes, “The Reflex” is one of the most popular, and also one of the most perplexing. For years, every single attempt to decode the lyrics left me answered with a question mark. And then, at a party in Manhattan some time ago, a friend of mine clued me in. “This song is about masturbation,” she told me. “Seriously. Think about it.”
I have thought about it, and arrived at the same conclusion. “The Reflex” is indeed a song about self-pleasure. The eponymous “reflex” refers to that moment of joussance that we attempt to bring ourselves as close to as possible for as long as we can before realization—the “danger line” somebody’s fooling around with his chances on, in other words. Pretend he’s saying “climax” instead of “reflex” (they mean the same thing) and the rest of the lyrics (or most of them, at least) make more sense. Our narrator is whacking off, and trying to make it last as long as he can.
Simon strings together phrases hinting at this masturbatory meaning. “I’m dancing on the Valentine” is a gorgeous euphemism for “I thought I was going to have an orgasm, but after moving my hips just so, I was able to arrest the release for a few more minutes”—the “bridge” that will be crossed when he finds it. “High time is no time for deciding if I should find a helping hand” refers to him recognizing the fact that once he’s erect, he won’t be in the right frame of mind to opt to put it away and wait for a comely groupie to do it for him.
But the giveaway is the bridge between the verse and the chorus:
So why-yi-yiyi-yi-yi don’t you use it
Try-yi-yi-yi-yi not to bruise it
Buy-yi-yi-yi-yi time; don’t lose it
The meaning now reveals itself clearly. What else can “try not to bruise it” refer to? But the rhythm, too, brings home the point. Imagine, if you will, that your hand is cupped around an imaginary phallus. Now, jerk that hand up and down along the shaft of said invisible wang to the tempo of the yi-yi-yis. Quod erat demonstrandum!
The four bars of musical interlude between lose it and the reflex, the dominant waiting and waiting and waiting before yielding to the inevitability of the tonic, represents the last moment before the climax. Then, the triumphant chorus begins, representing the post-ejaculatory contentment. “He”—that is, his manhood—no longer “high,” has been reduced to “a lonely child waiting in the park,” charged with “finding treasure in the dark.” Finally, as our narrator contemplates the sticky-fingered world of orgiastic aftermath, his lust temporarily sated, he remarks on the mystery of what had driven him to his release—that he is now “watching over lucky clover” is “bizarre.” But then, the entire operation puzzles and confounds him, leaving him “answered with a question mark.”
Once this is understood, the second verse is obvious to the point of comedy. “I’m on a ride and I wanna get off” is about as straightforward as Simon LeBon is capable of being, and the bits about not slowing down the roundabout and not wanting to be around “when this gets out” border on literality. The only cryptic line is “I sold the Renoir and the TV set,” which seems to hint at the depths to which he’ll go to exact his priapic pleasure—although I prefer to think it’s shorthand for some kinky sex act Simon is too bashful to disclose.
The video for “The Reflex” was shot in Montreal, because Duran Duran always gave good shows there, and the French-Canadian crowd was dependably and singularly first-rate2. Unlike most of the band’s videos, which involved Simon, John, Roger, Nick, and sometimes Andy cavorting around Sri Lanka—a sovereign nation they were kicked out of and are not allowed to return to; how is being banned from a country less punk rock than wrecking a hotel room? Suck it, Mötley Crüe—“The Reflex” is a performance video, a gentle reminder that yes, these guys are really, really good at playing their instruments.3 But even in this, the simplest of their videos, there are clues to the song’s hidden meaning: the phallic Greek pillars behind the stage, the silhouetted man and woman in bondage poses, the complete lack of dudes in the audience (these are all girls on film). And then, toward the end of the song, coming out of the musical interlude, a crudely-rendered cascade of water spills from the screen atop the stage onto the unsuspecting ladies screaming below. We see them get doused. But look again at the egregiously lame computer-generated image; is it perhaps too milky to be water?
Furthermore, the name of the album hints at this meaning. The titular “tiger” is ragged, as in worn out, but also ragged, as in swaddled in a strip of old cloth, for reasons that should now be patently obvious.
We may never find out who Rio is, or why her sand-dance is comparable to a river in Texas, but we do know that when Simon is hungry like the wolf, he is not above taking matters into his own hands.
The Reflex
The Reflex
The Reflex
You've gone too far this time
And I'm dancing on the valentine
I tell you somebody's fooling around
With my chances on the danger line
I'll cross that bridge when I find it
Another day
To make my stand
High time is no time for deciding
If I should find a helping hand
Why don't you use it?
Try not to bruise it?
Buy time don't loose it
Why don't you use it?
Try not to bruise it?
Buy time don't loose it
The reflex is a lonely child
Who's waiting by the park
The reflex is a door to finding
Treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover
Isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does
Must be answered with a question mark
I'm on a ride and I want to get off
But they won't slow down the round-about
I sold the radio and T.V. set
Don't want to be around when this gets out
Why don't you use it?
The reflex is a lonely child
Who's waiting by the park
The reflex is a door to finding
Treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover
Isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does
Must be answered with a question mark
Why don't you use it?
Try not to bruise it?
Buy time don't loose it
The reflex is a lonely child
Who's waiting by the park
The reflex is a door to finding
Treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover
Isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does
Must be answered with a question mark