In light of Ronnie's eminent divorce, I'm wondering if there are any divorced dads here, and what the price is for child support and alimony. Realizing that all terms vary by state and what not so it'd be hard pressed to find someone here divorced from NY. I'm just trying to figure out a rough ballpark without going to an attorney just yet. I mean for simplicity's sake, let's say I made $100K a year, does half of that go to the ex and kids, 70%? 80%? Not looking for anyone's numbers. Just how much I could stand to lose, ballparked.

as the song goes: cheaper to keep her

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VoodooLounge13
I'm wondering if there are any divorced dads here, and what the price is for child support and alimony.

Why ? Are you planning to join the club ?

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Keep On Rolling

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Rolling Hansie

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VoodooLounge13
I'm wondering if there are any divorced dads here, and what the price is for child support and alimony.

Why ? Are you planning to join the club ?

Now would I be askin if I wasn't thinkin about joinin it?! LOL

you could just be doing research for a sociology project

LOL Oh if only I were back in college.....life was so much simpler back then. Yes, I've a feeling it's much cheaper to keep her but what price is true happiness worth?

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VoodooLounge13
LOL Oh if only I were back in college.....life was so much simpler back then. Yes, I've a feeling it's much cheaper to keep her but what price is true happiness worth?

or what price is true hell worth, eh? these are tough questions...i wish you luck....

In California I believe it's 50/50 but I don't get married - there's this thing called "Girl Friend" - so divorce isn't an issue. No one is getting along these days, a lotta tension in the air. Must be this financial crisis stressing out EVERYONE..... nothing like a responsible Ruling Body to keep things on track.... So why the Divorce Voodoo ? Spill the beans my man.....

awwww, Helter, it's one long @ss story my friend. I guess best summed up by just saying another woman with whom I believe I'd finally have true happiness...

grass is almost never greener...even if it seems like it

ah T&A the smell of fresh green grass wafting in my nostrils smells like serenity

i've never known a single person who went astray and didn't regret it. there are definitely compelling reasons for divorce and i wouldn't presume to judge anyone, but leaving for another is the worst possible reason, imo.....

The alimony part depends on how many years you've been together in most states. Its probably safe to assume you're losing the house, 75% of your income (alimony + child support) and your kids sooner or later will really resent you as the guy that messed up their lives. I'm not trying to be a prick, this is reality and something you need to consider no matter how convincing an argument your penis makes to the contrary.

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Rocky Dijon
The alimony part depends on how many years you've been together in most states. Its probably safe to assume you're losing the house, 75% of your income (alimony + child support) and your kids sooner or later will really resent you as the guy that messed up their lives. I'm not trying to be a prick, this is reality and something you need to consider no matter how convincing an argument your penis makes to the contrary.

beyond these realities are impacts that many people fail to anticipate up-front. there are wide, residual effects associated with almost every friend and extended family member... particularly in the instance when "another man/woman" is the reason or excuse....

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T&A
grass is almost never greener...even if it seems like it

Almost is the key word...ala humboldt county.

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Bingo

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T&A
grass is almost never greener...even if it seems like it

Almost is the key word...ala humboldt county.

there are always exceptions...haha....humboldt county - remember keith having some fun with humboldt at one of the oakland shows in the 90's....

problem is that everybody always thinks "their almost" is the exception...part of the self-justifying process....

..of being human.

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T&A
i've never known a single person who went astray and didn't regret it. there are definitely compelling reasons for divorce and i wouldn't presume to judge anyone, but leaving for another is the worst possible reason, imo.....

Well T&A, I said it was a loooong story best summed up as that. It's not the driving reason. One of the very main reasons is that I want more kids, my wife doesn't. In fact this is steadily growing to be the main reason. I made a mistake some 7.5 years ago and she got pregnant. We very nearly aborted it, and at the last minute we both decided we couldn't actually go thru with it so we went the opposite and got married, not wanting to have b@st@ard child and all. Seeing my daughter and how close we were to killing her made me overturn my support for abortion mostly - but that's a whole other issue lol. When we married I hoped to one day be able to learn to love her, and I guess for a while I did, but it's long since gone. We are also separate on religion in large degrees, and I feel like the chasm is simply widening, as happiness is something that's been lacking for a long time now. Might even venture to say this level has not existed my entire life.

And that's the strangest part - there's been no conjugal aspect to it all, which for me makes it all the more deeper and rewarding. I'm ok with being at lower income levels, it's the thought of not being able to give the new person what I could currently give the wife.

and who said there's even grass on the field?!

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T&A

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Rocky Dijon
The alimony part depends on how many years you've been together in most states. Its probably safe to assume you're losing the house, 75% of your income (alimony + child support) and your kids sooner or later will really resent you as the guy that messed up their lives. I'm not trying to be a prick, this is reality and something you need to consider no matter how convincing an argument your penis makes to the contrary.

beyond these realities are impacts that many people fail to anticipate up-front. there are wide, residual effects associated with almost every friend and extended family member... particularly in the instance when "another man/woman" is the reason or excuse....

T&A,
I do fully realize all of the ramifications, really. I left a couple of years back, and only came back really cuz she said we could talk about having more kids, which obviously never materialized.

vl13 - nobody asked anyone to bare his soul here! just offering a general observation on what can happen when a third-party enters the picture as the reason/excuse (even if it's just perceived that way by others)....nobody should judge you, but many people will....

Good luck Voodoo Lounge. I think child support is around 28%...assuming the kids live with their mother most of the time. You could probably have it reduced some, if the kids live with you a substantial amount of the time.

Not sure about alimony...wasn't an issue for me.

Good luck in what you are going thru...

Laws do vary from state to state. California , where I live is a community property state and I think New York isn’t.


Look on the internet for an alimony and/or child support calculator. It will ask you a series of questions including what state you are in and figure an approximate payment. How much you pay may have to do with her financial situation. The last time I’ve seen one of these was 10 years ago, but then again I have no reason to look for one (as of now).


If you have a figure that includes both Alimony and Child Support, you may want to have your lawyers negotiate what it’s called (alimony vs. child support), to most benefit you. Note that Alimony is tax deductible where child support isn’t. By the same token, alimony income is taxable to the receiver where child support isn't. On the other hand, child support usually ends when the child is 18 or finished college, and Alimony ends or can be greatly reduced if the ex remarries, if she doesn't, those payments could be made for quite some time. There's lots of stuff to consider. Good luck.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2009-01-29 05:20 by BluzDude.

God, the child support figures for a homemaker wife are staggering!! Doesn't leave much to try and make it anew......and I guess NY is a state (of course it is) where they feel the wives should get alimony for the rest of their lives. Geez all this alone is enough to make one just suck it up and keep one's head down.

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VoodooLounge13
God, the child support figures for a homemaker wife are staggering!! Doesn't leave much to try and make it anew......and I guess NY is a state (of course it is) where they feel the wives should get alimony for the rest of their lives. Geez all this alone is enough to make one just suck it up and keep one's head down.

those blooze folks know this thru experience....that cheaper to keep her biz ain't just a catchy line, you know....

Gonna start writing me some of my own blooze T&A!

course, the hard-core blooze peeps sometimes went to extreme measures to deal with these sitches....red devil lye seems to be a popular remedy....

Dakota tribal wisdom:

"when you discover you are riding a dead horse, dismount!"

There is no such thing as a "good divorce". Divorce in itself is an ugly thing. You can make it as painless as possible, for all parties involved. What I learned (gone thru it) was the long-term best thing I could do is to be very honest to everyone involved, at every step of the way. Every step.
How much it is going to cost you will depend on your income, your assets, how much your wife asks for, on your lawyers, the US state, age of the kids, where he/she/they live. All of the sudden something that was supposed to be unmeasurable and forever will be quantified and weighed; it's sobering, and IMO always sad.

Voodoo--my firm does a thriving Matrimonial business. In NY one child is going
to run you 17% of your gross income (meaning, pre-tax); spousal maintenance (NYs quaint term for alimony) is a whole nother kettle of fish and far too complex to even attempt to explain in this context.

That said--my strongest advice....do it ONLY if you are your absolute wits end. Seriously, I highly doubt you have an appreciation for what you are in for financially and more importantly, emotionally. Its a mess and will turn your life upside down in ways you never could have imagined--one quick example, it WILL impact your proposed next relationship.

There have been some excellent points made by others already.

Sadly, the only winners are the attorneys who make a killing (and frankly, its not enough for the BS they have to deal with) on the emotional war you will be igniting.

My .02

slideman! wtf have u been?